Online Dating: 5 Tips For Finding Success

The days of being embarrassed to meet people online are long gone, but the daunting task of navigating though the world of online dating sites can be terrifying and overwhelming. But don’t fret! I’ve put together a simple guide for getting the most out of your online dating experience!

1. Choose the online dating service that is right for you.

There seems to be an almost endless amount of dating sites in existence. How can you possibly begin to navigate through them? First thing’s first: you have pay dating sites, like eHarmony and Match.com, and free sites such as PlentyOfFish and OKCupid. Free sites are a good starting point; a way to test the dating waters. You can set up a profile without hassle and get started right away. And if it doesn’t work out for you, or you decide online dating just isn’t your thing, at least you won’t feel like you wasted money.

Pay sites, however, tend to be more in-depth, and cover more compatibility areas so that they can help you find the best matches. They also often offer the benefit of having more “serious” members; those who are actively searching for a partner and not just trolling the internet for cheap dates. That’s not to say that creeps and weirdos and low-lifes don’t exist on all dating sites… because they most definitely do.

There are also a lot of niche dating sites. There are dating sites for book lovers, art lovers, horse lovers, and all other manner of lovers; stoners, little people, people who have STDS, and even for specifically for inmates, sea captains, or farmers. And that’s only to name a VERY FEW. There really is a site for everyone.

And hey, if you’re looking for something a little naughtier, there are a lot of dating sites available that specialize in casual hookups between sexually open-minded adults, such as: XXXConnect, SocialSex, orNaughtyMeetings.

Once you have an idea of the site(s) you’d like to join, do your research; read reviews, and find out what other people think. There are tons of dating site reviews on this site, just FYI.

2. Be honest!

This is one piece of dating advice that should be followed regardless of whether you are dating online or not. If you are not honest about who you are, you are not going to attract someone who is compatible with you. I know it’s tempting to exaggerate a little, especially online, but all you are doing is setting both yourself and your potential date up for disappointment.

You should never be focused on convincing someone that you’re “good enough” to be with. They should want to spend time with you because they truly appreciate and desire the person that you are. And the best way to find that person is to be as honest as you can in the way you present yourself. Don’t make your profile reflect what you think people want; just make it you.
Be thorough when completing your profile. Answer/fill out all the sections and remember: honesty! I have seen countless bare-bones dating site profiles that offer you no more than the most basic information about the person.

3. Choose an appropriate username.

Go ahead, be witty, be funny, be risque. But make sure to understand what your username will say about you. You want it to be a representation of you and what you’re looking to get out of this site, but you also don’t want it to be off-putting to other members. Don’t be NiceGuyKevin72. Don’t be CatCrazedCathy101. And for the love of God, don’t be SoWet4U unless you’re prepared for the consequences. Or, you’ve decided to join one of the raunchier dating sites – then, by all means, be “SoWet” for whoever you want! 

4. Show your best side with your profile picture.

We’ve all seen horrible and creepy online dating profile pictures: the shirtless 55-year-old proudly showing off his latest piece of roadkilll, the jacked dude smirking wildly amongst his sizable gun collection, and things that are just plain weird. But bad quality, low angle webcam photos and photoshopped pictures are just as bad.

Often times members are given a split-second judgement based on their profile picture. It’s a sad, but accurate truth. And when your face is lost in a sea of other faces, you need to be sure you’re putting your best foot.. er, face.. forward.

First, use a recent photo! I can’t stress this enough. You have to be honest about your looks too! So, don’t use your high school graduation photo. And don’t use that photo from when you were in your best friend’s wedding party 10 years ago. And don’t use that photo of you in a bikini from 1995. Just don’t, okay? Potential matches want to know what you look like now. Choose a photo that shows your face. One where you look happy, you’re smiling naturally, even laughing maybe. Choose a photo from a time you were having a good day. It shows in the photo.

Second, don’t use photos of you with other people. Members want to see YOU. They don’t want to see you surrounded by all your lady friends (this goes for guys AND girls!) And if you’re in the photo with someone of the same gender, how are potential dates supposed to know which one you are?? Keep the focus on you, and you alone.

And fellas? Keep your shirt on. That’s not what we’re interested in, and is in fact often times a complete turn-off. Oh, and while we’re on the topic, there is NO EXCUSE for mirror photos. I don’t need to know what your bathroom looks like. How hard is it to get someone to snap a photo of you? Better yet, raid your friends’ Facebook and Instagram accounts; they are sure to have photos of you that look more natural.
And don’t forget, most sites allow you to add multiple photos, so once you’ve chosen a stellar profile picture, feel free to add all those other photos of yourself. The more the better!

If you’re on a niche dating site, be sure to show off why it is you’re on the site! Joined a site for cat lovers? Put your little fur baby in the picture with you! Joined a site that connects travel lovers? Put up a photo from your last exotic vacation! And if you decide to join one of the more “adult” sites, you’re going to get much better results if you submit a raunchy profile picture. If you’re brave enough, show a little skin (or a lot!).

5. BE IN IT TO WIN IT

Approach online dating as you would a job search. Present yourself in the best possible light. Show potential matches why you’re so amazing. And use proper spelling/grammar/structure! There’s no reason not to and not doing so will only make you look juvenile and blasé.

And, as you should do with a resume or cover letter, get a friend to proofread and look over your profile for you. A second opinion can be invaluable.

Just like with a job search, online dating is a numbers game. Send out lots of messages! And don’t get discouraged if you don’t hear back from people. Not everyone is right for everyone else. When you get replies, take it slow – talk about mutual interests and find out what else you might have in common. Don’t be afraid to set up lots of dates! Go have a good time!

I hope that this advice will help you to make your profile as great as it can be so you’re able to find what you’re looking for in a match. Good luck!

Great advice from our friends at http://www.wwwdatingguide.com ! Take a look at their site for more great articles.

One Year Of Online Dating

Really good blog on Dating Over 50! http://1yearofonlinedatingat50.com/ Read it!

When your doorman thinks you are pathetic, you probably are.

“You’ve got to get out there while you’re still young enough to get a guy,” he said recently, and then added, “Your husband’s been gone a long time. What are you waiting for?”

“Good morning,” would’ve sufficed, but he certainly knew better than most the small life I was living. Borderline shut in I spent my days writing, took a few night classes, and occasionally went out with friends, but men? Hardly.

It was difficult to see myself in a new relationship while still in love with someone else. That was the dilemma. It was the biggest kind of love–one for the record books. Imagine if the perfect person, tailor-made, came into your life. That’s what happened to me. I knew it the moment I saw his face–like finding something I had forgotten I’d lost. After being alone for a decade, focused on raising my daughters, I finally had my fairy-tale ending.

Five years. That’s how long we were together, and then he died.

Today is an anniversary of sorts, and one I’ve dreaded. My husband has been gone longer than I knew him. I couldn’t fathom a life without him, but excruciatingly slowly I’ve learned to accept the reality of my situation. After five tough years, I’m open to the possibility of someone new in my life and ready to love again.

Two years ago I got in my car and drove from Las Vegas to Manhattan. I gave away most of my possessions and shipped only what would fit in my tiny apartment. Armed with a rough manuscript of a memoir I’d just complete (our story) and a newfound passion for writing, I thought I would immerse myself in the heart of the literary world and see if I could make something happen. Leaving all that was safe and familiar seemed crazy to many, but after losing the life I thought was mine I felt fearless.

Now that I was ready to love again, how would a 50-year-old widow living in New York City meet men? It’s hard for any single woman here where the ladies outnumber the guys but especially so when your life is spent alone hunched over a computer trying to be a writer. Gorgeous girls with Ivy educations and successful careers sit at home solo on Saturday nights in this city. What were my chances?

The answer was obvious. I’d have to jump into online dating where thousands of single men were a click away from my dance card.  My friend, an Internet dating expert, called it a numbers game. Most people go on a site, get disgusted after several bad dates and delete their profile. She said I must commit to a year and prepare to kiss a pond-full of amphibians.

Just the thought of my photos and profile on a dating website for 365 days made me jittery. I realized the stigma associated with online dating had diminished but there was something that felt, well, desperado.

BUT, the sooner I get started the quicker it might happen and this blog will document the process. If you’re considering online dating or just want to read about one middle-aged woman’s quest for love you can follow along. I’m in for a year, unless George Clooney calls or I meet my Cyber Prince Charming.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

The Wedding Party

We're going to a friends wedding party tonight, so should be in for a great time!

But it does make me stop and think of all the single people out there this Bank Holiday weekend. These extended breaks can really drag on if you've no one special to share them with.

But it doesn't have to be this way you know. Online dating allows you to search locally for a new date, and gives you the chance to find out if they are likely to be compatible with you. All from the comfort of your own home! Once you see someone you like, you can start an online conversation and find out even more about them! If it feels right, arrange to meet up for a coffee - and you're dating again!

http://www.datingover50uk.com

The Do's And Dont's Of Online Dating

Here is what the experts had to say:

Kate Taylor, relationship expert at match.com

Do take the time to get your profile right. Spend some time making sure your profile is as good as it can be and that it accurately reflects your personality. 

Do concentrate on the written word. Make sure anything you publish on the net communicates the qualities you want to portray. 

Do make your first message count. Ensure it reads like a personal message by mentioning a few things from the person’s profile and interests that caught your eye and made you want to get in touch.

Don’t misrepresent yourself on your profile. It’s best not to use old photos for your profile picture and be completely honest about your hobbies and interests. 

Don't let a bad dating experience get you down. 

Don’t be afraid to make the first move.

Don't do this

Liz Marie, senior editor at WeLoveDates and HuffPost UK blogger

Do accept dates with people who aren't your “type”.

Do meet first dates in a public place and always let a friend or family member know where you'll be.

Do make online dating a priority.

Don't use a selfie as your profile photo! It looks like you don't have any friends!

Don't respond to every email that you receive-unless you really want to.

Don't wait for someone you're interested in to message you first!

Don't do this either

The Guyliner, HuffPost UK blogger and experienced online dater who is "taking on the internet one gay at a time"

Do be on time. Even slight lateness can set a miserable tone for the rest of the date.

Do be clean. You'd be surprised how often dates turn up without showering.

Do contribute to the conversation. It's great that you're "a good listener" but you're wrong if you think letting someone do all the talking makes for a great date.

Don't go for dinner on the first date. Once you're sitting at a table with this stranger, you're trapped until the bill comes – and they could be a very slow eater and dull to boot.

Don't arrive drunk or come from somewhere else where you've been drinking.

Don't lie on your dating profile. If you really want this to go somewhere, you'll have to be honest.

Don't do this, either

Laura Jane Williams, HuffPost UK blogger and new on the internet dating scene

Do a little research. Before you write your profile, see what people your similar age and gender are saying about themselves.

Do remember that this is a dating site, not a job interview. Use your profile as a trailer, not the full movie.

Do actually date. Get out and meet in real life!

Don't sit idle. Aim for about ten new messages a day in order to get noticed by other users, and the site's algorithm.

Don't cut and paste. It's pretty easy to spot a generic "I send this to all the girls" message, and it won't do you any favours. Personalised messages stand out much more. and get a real dialogue going.

Don't mention how you promise you won't ever tell anyone you met online. The stigma attached to online dating is long gone. Be proud that you're being proactive in your search for love.

You heard the experts - get dating online now! http://www.datingover50uk.com 

Meet the Foxy Fifties! Silver Surfers give internet dating sites a boost as it is revealed more over-50s than ever before are finding love online

• Internet dating among those aged 50+ is up by 40%
• Over-50's is fastest growing group of internet dating site users
• Online is now the second most common place to meet a partner
• First most common is through a mutual friend

It's never too late to be swept off your feet. And that's now truer than ever, thanks to the stratospheric rise of online dating.

The over-50's segment is the fastest growing group of subscribers for internet dating, and the sector has recently witnessed a 40 per cent leap in popularity.

Just ask loved-up Stella Ansell, 69, and her 72-year-old husband Peter. The newly married couple of 'silver surfers' from West Sussex were both widowed earlier in life, but they found love again with each other on the internet just two years ago.

 

Encouraged by family members who didn't want them to be alone after their partners died, they both took to the world wide web to find a companion.

Stella, 69, and Peter, 72, who met online in 2010 and are now engaged.

Joining a well known dating website, they were matched in 2010 because they're energetic, vibrant, adventurous and love doing things together.

They were engaged in October 2011 and married on 11 August this year.

And their story is becoming more and more common.

Online is now the second most common place to meet a partner, the first being through a mutual friend.

Moreover, websites catering solely for the over-50 demographic are appearing all over the internet, offering their services to the more mature dater.

Sites such as www.datingover50uk.com are all offering those over the age of 50 the opportunity to find romance.

Stella, who was alone for two years after her first husband died before joining the online site, told MailOnline: 'It's very difficult making the transitions from being a carer, to being on your own, to deciding to look for someone else.

'And then once I did eventually start trying to go to places like dinners or dancing, I got the feeling that other women were - completely unnecessarily - perhaps a little threatened by me as a single woman.

'With online dating you don't need to worry about that because you're already meeting someone who is in the same position as you.

'Both Peter and went for people online who had been widowed, not divorced, because we wanted someone who had gone through the same experience as us and come out the other side.

'Perhaps if I was 40 it would have been different, but in my sixties I wanted someone who had experienced what I had.'

Websites catering solely for the over-50 demographic are appearing all over the internet, offering their services to the more mature dater.

The couple's first date was almost, however, a disaster.

Stella said: 'It was almost horrendous! We chose to meet in a cosy pub in between us but on the day we picked there was a complete snowstorm and we were both absolutely snowed in!

'I managed to make it to the pub in the dreadful driving conditions, and as I slid across the ice into the car park I noticed only one other car doing the same.

'We both walked up to the door of the pub and there was a sign saying it was closed for refurbishment! Luckily, we both laughed, which was a good sign, and we took ourselves off for coffee...which lasted five hours'

Stella's advice for online daters over 50 is to be careful about which sites you use.

'Go to a website that looks into the type of person you really are, and matches you properly. There are sites out there that are just for a one-off date, but if that's not what you're looking for then be more thorough'.

Thanks to  MARTHA DE LACEY, Daily Mail, for the article.

5 Top Tips For The Over 50's Dating!

1. Put your best foot forward.

I hate to say it but there's serious competition out there based on the numbers from the Census Bureau.  For online dating spend time writing a profile that shows you in the best light.  Get a friend's opinion on the final draft.  And if you don't have a great photo, ask that same friend to snap a nice candid shot for you to post. 

Have a simple and flattering first date outfit already in the closet -- like a uniform.  When you have that first date, you don't have to agonize over what to where, how it fits, how you'll look.  You'll already know and be able to head to meet Mr. Maybe-Right with a little less stress.  And the best thing to show on the first date is the real you.  At 50+, who has time for being anything but authentic. 

2. Don't settle.

I'm not looking for Prince Charming anymore -- I went to his funeral years ago.  As I've gotten older, my ideal date is kind, smart, emotionally available (did I say that already?), thoughtful and not addicted to any substance other than chocolate or coffee.  Have you made a list of the qualities you'd like to find in the people you date at this point in life?  It helps you get real clear -- again -- on what works and what's non-negotiable for you in a relationship.  If someone doesn't measure up, don't settle for less than what you want. 

3. Lighten Up

When I was young, I took the whole dating thing so seriously.  As I think back on it, the end goal was to get married and have a family -- at least that's what I learned back in the day.  Now I don't really worry about getting married again.  So I'm less wedded -- not to make a pun -- to the end result and more to the journey in a relationship. 

I've also accepted that sometimes I meet someone who just not that into me.  If you haven't read the book by that name, it's enlightening-- and liberating.  From Kathryn Lord, the Romance Coach, here are a few signs that a man just isn't that into you:

• He tells you he's just not that into you.
• He tells you he isn't ready to settle down into a relationship.
• Doesn't give you a hug or a kiss goodbye.
• He doesn't call.

Sound familiar?

4. Protect yourself in all ways possible. 

First, don't share personal information, like your contact info until you've really gotten a comfort level with someone.  For instance, keep your email private which the top online dating sites always do for you.  If you decide to talk with someone on the phone, call them and *67 before you dial their number so your phone number isn't revealed. 

When you're ready to meet someone in person -- coffee in a very public place is a good first date -- advise a friend where you're going and that you will call after you leave.  My sister and I have this arrangement and it works well.  Once I progress to a longer date, like dinner, my sister knows to call at a certain time.  As I answer the call in front of my date, I apologize and jokingly explain how my sister and I look out for one another because my date -- and yours -- should know that someone cares about us.  

The other way to protect yourself is at the point you decide to take a new relationship into intimacy.  The bottom line is that over 50, we need our own stash of condoms and -- no you can't depend on the other person to have one.  Nancy over at Boomerful, who found herself single in midlife, reports that: 

After more than a year of being single, what I have learned is this: Condoms are a fact of life. Don't consider any other way, unless you are really monogamous and have both been tested. If you are in bed with a guy and he doesn't have the guts to use a condom ... or he tries to convince you that one isn't needed ... RUN. He is not worth a conversation, much less your body fluids and possibly your life.

If you're timid about buying a box of condoms from your friendly neighborhood pharmacist -- it is a weird feeling -- then you can buy them online.

5. Enjoy yourself. 

This one sounds easy but I'm not quite there.  It's a goal I haven't quite reached yet in this new world of dating over 50.  I'm hopeful, though.

XXE25M2WTWC5

Do's And Dont's Of Online Dating

Do accept dates with people who aren't your “type”.

Do meet first dates in a public place and always let a friend or family member know where you'll be.

Do make online dating a priority.

Don't use a selfie as your profile photo! It looks like you don't have any friends!

Don't respond to every email that you receive-unless you really want to.

Don't wait for someone you're interested in to message you first!

Do a little research. Before you write your profile, see what people your similar age and gender are saying about themselves.

Do remember that this is a dating site, not a job interview. Use your profile as a trailer, not the full movie.

Do actually date. Get out and meet in real life!

Don't sit idle. Aim for about ten new messages a day in order to get noticed by other users, and the site's algorithm.

Don't cut and paste. It's pretty easy to spot a generic "I send this to all the girls" message, and it won't do you any favours. Personalised messages stand out much more. and get a real dialogue going.

Don't mention how you promise you won't ever tell anyone you met online. The stigma attached to online dating is long gone. Be proud that you're being proactive in your search for love.