Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Dating over 50

Just because you are over 50, it doesn't mean that you can't date!

Remember when you say "I wish I knew what I know now when I was 18..." Well, you do know now! So put it to good use and carry on living. Dating and flirting makes you feel younger, makes you feel alive.

Find new friends here.

Thursday, 7 November 2013

Older women can now share in Joy of Sex

An author who rewrote The Joy of Sex last year said divorced middle-aged women can now enjoy active sex lives without fearing judgment

An author who rewrote The Joy of Sex last year said divorced middle-aged women can now enjoy active sex lives without fearing judgment
An author who rewrote the famous manual The Joy of Sex claims women’s love lives now get better with age.
Susan Quilliam claims divorced middle-aged women can enjoy “full and active sex lives” that was not possible for earlier generations.
The psychologist, who rewrote Alex Comfort’s famous 1972 sex manual to mark its 40th anniversary, said mature women in 2013 were free to indulge in new affairs after splitting from their husbands without being labelled “sluts”.
She pointed out that age and experience were now considered added attractions rather than signs a woman was “past it”.
The 63-year-old, whose 21-year marriage recently ended, said women no longer needed to fear disapproval for experimenting in the bedroom.
Speaking at the Cambridge University Festival of Ideas, she said: “In theory, I can, if I so wish, go out and sleep with somebody tonight without opprobrium, without being told I’m a slut.
“Well, there are some people who will still think I’m a slut, but largely we are lucky. Us women in 2013, we are lucky as no other women before us.
“We are lucky post Pill and post the Abortion Act to be able to know and decide where, what, who, how and also whether and where to look for sex – and where things are and what to do with them.”
She added: “Compared to our mothers’ and grandmothers’ generations we have more choice.
“More choice to have a relationship or not. The choice of whether to have a short-term relationship of just a few hours or a long-term one.
“We can also choose who we partner with. Our grandparents’ generation was firmly told they had to partner with someone of their own class and age.
“We can choose a partner who is younger or older, people who do not come from the same background or even the same continent.
The Cambridge-based writer, who married her former husband Ian Grove-Stephen, 56, in 1992, published a modern version of the self-help book The Joy of Sex last year.
She said: “When the original book came out in 1972, women who were over 50 or 60 years old were seen as past it, whereas they are now seen as attractive.
“We can have full and active sex lives. I know a lot of women over 50 with good sex lives.
“Women have become more powerful in society and because of this increase in power have been able to set the rules more.
“Society is more mature and experience in the bedroom is now seen as being just as compelling as being attractive.
“Older women now know a lot more about our bodies and how to please a man.”
Miss Quillam said widowed women were no longer under pressure to remain single for the rest of their lives.
She said: “Women do not have to be afraid. They can grab their own life by the scruff of the neck and think, “Let’s do this”. That’s something my mother and grandmother were not able to do.”
Miss Quillam refused to comment on whether she was currently in a relationship.
Article from The Telegraph

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Bonfire Night

So, another Bonfire Night comes around.

I think there is nothing better than going out to a firework display, in the lovely chilled autumn air, all wrapped up, with your new love on your arm. Maybe sharing a cup of hot wine too? Lovely!

Will you be going to one this year?

Don't let life pass you by - go out and live it!

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Four Essential Mature Online Dating Tips

Online Dating is quickly becoming one of the best ways for mature daters to find love. It’s convenient, confidential and gives you the chance to meet people you might never have crossed paths with otherwise. Online Dating shouldn’t be complicated or confusing. Use our tips below to get the most our of your online dating experience!
Senior Dating Tips
Choose the right online dating site for you. Before you take the plunge and sign up for an online dating site, it’s important to consider which site you’re going to use. Different dating sites cater to different types of people based on their lifestyles or preferences. Other sites do the matching for you, which is great if you trust their system, but not so good if you want a more hands on approach. Do your research, and ask friends and family what sites they might recommend. Plus, don’t forget that you aren’t limited to one site and one site only! Since most allow members to sign up for free, try out a few different online dating sites before you upgrade to the paid option.
Keep an open mind. One of the most exciting things about mature dating is how drastically different the dating landscape is now versus how it was the last time you were single. At the beginning, it can take some adjusting to. While things aren’t going to be the same as they used to be, it’s quite possible that you will like the dating playing field better. Maintaining an open mind is crucial to getting the most out of your online dating experience. Don’t dwell on the past, instead focus on the future with an open mind and heart.
Put effort into your profile. Your online dating profile is the first impression you can make on a potential date, so spend some time perfecting it! Answer the questions honestly and thoughtfully, and inject parts of your personality whenever possible. The goal is to show the world who you are and what you’re about through your profile. When it comes to choosing the right profile photo, select images that honestly reflect what you look like right now. Of course, we’d all love to put up photos from when we were twenty years younger or lighter, but ultimately that will do you more harm than good.  Since you want to go out on real life dates with the people you meet online, it’s best to be honest about your physical appearance from the start.
Speak up. Now that you’ve selected the best site for you and created the perfect profile, some mature daters think all they need to do is sit back, relax and wait for the flood of emails from interested singles to come in. Sure, you could do this…but you might be waiting for a while! With online dating, you sit in the drivers seat. If you come across someone’s profile who looks interesting and attractive, there should be nothing stopping you from sending them a message. Women sometimes feel that they need to wait for a man to make the first move, but with online dating there is no waiting necessary. Most men would be thrilled that a woman took the initiative to say hello. Be an active participant on your online dating site. Reply to messages, send winks or be available to instant message with other members.
Online dating is a rewarding journey. Every single day is exciting simply because you never know who you are going to see when you log on. Above all else, remember one important thing. The more you put into your mature online dating experience, the better your results will be!
Thanks to Mature Dating Talk for the article.

Thursday, 26 September 2013

The Do's And Don'ts Of Dating After 50

New York City (CNN) -- I never thought I'd be here, but here I am. And let me tell you -- dating at midlife just ain't what it's cracked up to be.
What's that, you say? Internet dating is all the rage! There's no stigma anymore. It makes perfect sense. With our hypercharged careers, family responsibilities, keeping up with the news and working out -- who has the time to meet people anymore? Forget singles bars. What woman in her 50s really enjoys meeting strange men at bars? Oh, wait. Most Internet "first dates" begin at bars. With strange men. Still, the draw is strong. Everybody seems to know somebody who's met her significant other online.
"Marie met the love of her life," said a friend. "She was smart enough to increase her radius of possibilities to 150 miles. And then she found Ben -- only three hours away." Only three hours? What nobody really seems to tell you is that for every online dating success story, there are hundreds of failures: misleading (or outright fraudulent) profiles, years-old photos (at 50, that makes a real difference), awkward conversations, sexual miscues, and clearly incompatible goals.

Ronni Berke
Ronni Berke
My situation is fairly typical. After juggling two children and a demanding job, my first marriage ended in divorce. I had given it some hard thinking, but my relationship with my husband, which began when we were both in college, really couldn't make it for the long haul. So I opted out. About a year later, I encountered a friendly, good-looking neighbor, who had just recently become single. Howard became my second husband and the love of my life. That made it all the more crushing when he died of a brain tumor two years into our marriage. Thus began a long period of mourning, in which I helped usher my two daughters into adulthood, and devoted more attention to my career. But I was awfully lonely. It didn't help that I went straight home from work every night and stayed in on weekends.
My friends would gently nudge me: "Why don't you just go out more, even with friends?" "Have you checked out JDate?" And the always dependable: "Take a class. You'll meet people." But I was stubborn. Oddly, I'm a very social person. Why was I cutting myself off from the world? My reasoning was this: If I don't do anything, don't "get out there," nothing bad will happen. As in no disappointment, no heartbreak. There's one problem with this line of thinking. Yes, if you don't do anything, nothing bad happens. However, nothing good happens, either. Nothing happens.
So, seven years after my husband's death, I took the plunge. I signed up for online dating and even went to a speed dating session at a local bar.
I approached online dating very seriously, enlisting help from close friends for my profile. It needed a dash of wit, a sprinkling of sass and an attractive photo. But not too much wit, and not too much sass. As for the photo: There's no such thing as too attractive. After everything posted, I got a flood of responses from men. Not because I'm an exceptional catch, but because those who've been on the sites for a while tend to pounce on a new candidate. There were men who lived in other states and countries. (I can't afford to see you. And Skype relationships are pretty two-dimensional.) Men who mentioned sexual details in their profiles. (Yes, we get that sex is important, even in middle age. But this is just too much information!) Men who were grammatically challenged. (Either I'm not worth a coherent sentence or you are unable to compose one.)
My first online date was at a nearby bar. I rushed home from work, put on a new outfit, makeup and perfume, and left the house looking and feeling like a million bucks. I walked into the bar where my date was sitting. Instantly, I could tell he wasn't interested. (Not that I was, either. But since then, I always arrive earlier than the man on a first date to check out, rather than be checked out.) The whole thing went downhill from there. My date spent an hour talking about what a long day he'd had, his allergies, and even checking out attractive women who walked by. Next!
The following night, I met a divorce lawyer for a drink. That job description should have been a red flag, but remember, I was trying to put myself "out there." He walked in and said: "You're a babe!" The last time someone called me a babe was, well, never. Yet, I tried to make the best of it, until he made a pass at me in the elevator. Want to seduce a woman? Trap her in a box and lunge at her. Works every time. Thankfully, I escaped unscathed.
After a few more encounters in which men talked nervously and endlessly about themselves, I met a man who seemed intelligent, attractive and interested in me. We dated for a couple of months. It was good for the ego at first, but turned out not to be a lasting relationship. Note to self: Just because a man doesn't talk about himself all the time doesn't mean he's right for you.
In addition to online dating, I've tried the novel approach of meeting men in person -- at a speed dating event. But it's just different for the boomer set. We're not kids anymore. We don't really do the "hang out, hook up" thing very well. Having a five-minute conversation isn't much of a barometer for a relationship.
Here are my "Speed Dating Dos and Don'ts, For Men of a Certain Age"
-- DO dress presentably. Clean it up. No Hawaiian shirts. And go easy on the hair product.
-- DO know how to talk to a woman. Bad line: "If your name weren't Ronni, what name would you want?" Good line: "You're a widow but out dating again? That's good for us men."
-- DON'T leave a woman sitting alone because you're too shy to come over during the break for buffet. For God's sake, it's speed dating. What did you sign up for?
-- DON'T talk about marriage on a five-minute speed date.
-- DO come up with a reason for why you're in your 50s (or 60s) and have never met the right woman. It can be finessed.
-- DON'T accidentally take your date's drink to the next table (and next date) with you. Pay attention to what you're doing.
-- DO know your selling points. If it's not your career -- and it can't always be -- come up with something you're good at.
-- DO act interested in what she's saying. Unless you just don't care.
But I am not giving up. I've told friends to keep on the lookout for suitable partners for me. I also have a couple of first dates next week with men I've met online. And yes -- expect me to get there first.

Thanks to CNN for this article!

Friday, 13 September 2013

Am I Too Old To Date Again?

In today's world, people don't often realize the importance of companionship until later in life. Staying fit and physically and socially active increases your odds of finding someone to date, and also increases your libido and your chances of successful sex. But, beware of too much focus on the surface, and not enough content. Such relationships quickly become empty and stressful.
Older couples have many issues to work out while dating. They are established, with clear likes and dislikes, and may have difficulty reaching agreement on lifestyle issues. They often have grown families, who may have trouble accepting a parent's or grandparent's dating. They also have relationship experience, and a widow or widower, for example, may have trouble getting beyond the previous marriage, and dealing with a different person.  The media focus on youth and fitness these days can make anyone feel insecure and unattractive. 
The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, shows you how to use the "get a life" method of pursuing your interests in a group fashion. Taking classes, supporting causes, or getting involved in civic, church or social groups will keep you interested, socially connected, and give you a chance to find someone with whom you have something in common.   Focus on activities that you enjoy (sports, classes, or political, social, charitable or religious activities ) which involve meeting other people and creating a social circle.  
If you are doing things that are meaningful to you, you'll automatically have something in common with anyone you meet there. It will also move your focus from desperation to something productive, which will bring out your most attractive character traits. As a bonus, you also get to observe that person around other people, which will tell you a lot about his/her character. Dating doesn't happen until you are already quite sure you two are mutually compatible and interested, and success is almost guaranteed.

Why not take a look at the book - it may help you get started again!  


Tuesday, 10 September 2013

5 Reasons Over 50’s Dating Isn’t Working

You Believe There Is Only One Soul Mate Or Twin Flame For You

Hollywood has done a number on your psyche when it comes to romance and finding love.
Falling in love is easy. It’s based on hormonal highs that make you feel like this special man in your life is magical and perfect for you.
Think of Jennifer Lopez and all the men she “fell in love with.”  Once the high wore off, she moved on.
It’s more important to fall in LIKE with a man because once the magic wears off after 6 to 18 months, you’ll decide whether you want to build a life together.  And chemistry is only a small part of that.

You Must Have Immediate Chemistry
Chemistry is nice, but let’s face it…hot attraction is based on the need to mate and make babies.
Our DNA is engrained with the need to find the most handsome and strongest man out there so our babies had best chance of surviving in the caveman days.
Sex is very much alive after 50. It just doesn’t happen as often as it did when you were younger.
Both sexes can have sexual issues and even when attraction is there, the type of performance you did when you were younger is rarely sustainable at this age.
More important than chemistry will be the companionship and the emotional support the two of you will give each other that will far outlast the initial chemistry as you age.

He Completes Me
image from the movie, Jerry Maguire
Photo credit: Gracie Films and TriStar Pictures
Hollywood fooled you again in the movie Jerry McGuire when Tom Cruise told the women he loved these three simple words…”You complete me!”
From that point on, men and women used this barometer as the measure for finding love.
The love of your life should compliment you, not complete you.  If they have to complete you, you’re missing something in your own life that you’re looking to have fulfilled by someone else.
After a while, this makes you appear needy because you must have the other person to make your life okay.
It’s better when you each come into a relationship with your own interests and passions. These create a glow that is so appealing to the opposite sex.
Of course, having common interests is important too for sustaining a relationship over time but it’s your individual passion that will keep the relationship alive.

Only Wanting To Date The “Beautiful” People
The media has taught us to think a person is only valuable if they are beautiful or handsome.  There’s a belief that having a handsome man on your arm raises your value to the world.
A relationship, especially after 50, is about far more than a handsome man.  Plus as you age, your looks will come from the inner glow of wisdom and feeling good about who you are today.
Handsome men make great eye candy but most of us need more depth than this to create a deeper sustainable relationship.  Don’t you agree?
Look at all the beautiful famous people you read about who are constantly breaking up or divorcing.  Could it be the outer glow has worn off creating a desire to have something deeper?

Looking For Perfection
The casualty of divorce is you really don’t want to fail again.  So you start looking for the perfect person.
On a coffee date, instead of getting to know a new and interesting man, you end up interviewing him for the position of your next serious relationship.
If he has one thing missing from the imaginary list you find yourself mentally checking off, you end the date and move on, never seeing him again.
When you were in your teens and 20’s, you found relationships with men by hanging out.  You didn’t go on a first date trying to figure out if this man was your next spouse.  No, you spent time hanging out just enjoying each other’s company.  That’s how you fell in love.
At this stage of the game, everyone comes with a ton of baggage that no one really wants to deal with.  What’s so wonderful about this time in your life is you can have all types of relationships with men.  Consider ending the traditional idea of having to marry as your goal.
Get out there and meet men who would be fun to have as a companion to hang out with.  Most people over 50 are lonely and could use a new friend in their life.
You never know, the person you passed up as your next spouse on the coffee date could over time turn out to be the greatest relationship of your over 50’s life.  All you have to do is give it a chance.
Much love and joy to you. Lisa
"The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!"
© 2013 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Lisa Copeland, The Dating Coach who makes dating fun and easier over 50 is the founder of Find A Quality Man LLC. To get your FREE Report... 5 Secrets to Finding A Quality Man and to receive her blog with tips and advice on finding and meeting your own Quality Man,

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Online Dating: 5 Tips For Finding Success

The days of being embarrassed to meet people online are long gone, but the daunting task of navigating though the world of online dating sites can be terrifying and overwhelming. But don’t fret! I’ve put together a simple guide for getting the most out of your online dating experience!

1. Choose the online dating service that is right for you.

There seems to be an almost endless amount of dating sites in existence. How can you possibly begin to navigate through them? First thing’s first: you have pay dating sites, like eHarmony and, and free sites such as PlentyOfFish and OKCupid. Free sites are a good starting point; a way to test the dating waters. You can set up a profile without hassle and get started right away. And if it doesn’t work out for you, or you decide online dating just isn’t your thing, at least you won’t feel like you wasted money.
Pay sites, however, tend to be more in-depth, and cover more compatibility areas so that they can help you find the best matches. They also often offer the benefit of having more “serious” members; those who are actively searching for a partner and not just trolling the internet for cheap dates. That’s not to say that creeps and weirdos and low-lifes don’t exist on all dating sites… because they most definitely do.
There are also a lot of niche dating sites. There are dating sites for book lovers, art lovers, horse lovers, and all other manner of lovers; stoners, little people, people who have STDS, and even for specifically for inmates, sea captains, or farmers. And that’s only to name a VERY FEW. There really is a site for everyone.
And hey, if you’re looking for something a little naughtier, there are a lot of dating sites available that specialize in casual hookups between sexually open-minded adults, such as: XXXConnectSocialSex, orNaughtyMeetings.
Once you have an idea of the site(s) you’d like to join, do your research; read reviews, and find out what other people think. There are tons of dating site reviews on this site, just FYI.

2. Be honest!

This is one piece of dating advice that should be followed regardless of whether you are dating online or not. If you are not honest about who you are, you are not going to attract someone who is compatible with you. I know it’s tempting to exaggerate a little, especially online, but all you are doing is setting both yourself and your potential date up for disappointment.
You should never be focused on convincing someone that you’re “good enough” to be with. They should want to spend time with you because they truly appreciate and desire the person that you are. And the best way to find that person is to be as honest as you can in the way you present yourself. Don’t make your profile reflect what you think people want; just make it you.
online-dating-advice-be-yourselfBe thorough when completing your profile. Answer/fill out all the sections and remember: honesty! I have seen countless bare-bones dating site profiles that offer you no more than the most basic information about the person.

3. Choose an appropriate username.

Go ahead, be witty, be funny, be risque. But make sure to understand what your username will say about you. You want it to be a representation of you and what you’re looking to get out of this site, but you also don’t want it to be off-putting to other members. Don’t be NiceGuyKevin72. Don’t be CatCrazedCathy101. And for the love of God, don’t be SoWet4U unless you’re prepared for the consequences. Or, you’ve decided to join one of the raunchier dating sites – then, by all means, be “SoWet” for whoever you want! online-dating-advice-profile-username

4. Show your best side with your profile picture.

We’ve all seen horrible and creepy online dating profile pictures: the shirtless 55-year-old proudly showing off his latest piece of roadkilll, the jacked dude smirking wildly amongst his sizable gun collection, and things that are just plain weird. But bad quality, low angle webcam photos and photoshopped pictures are just as bad.
Often times members are given a split-second judgement based on their profile picture. It’s a sad, but accurate truth. And when your face is lost in a sea of other faces, you need to be sure you’re putting your best foot.. er, face.. forward.
First, use a recent photo! I can’t stress this enough. You have to be honest about your looks too! So, don’t use your high school graduation photo. And don’t use that photo from when you were in your best friend’s wedding party 10 years ago. And don’t use that photo of you in a bikini from 1995. Just don’t, okay? Potential matches want to know what you look like now. Choose a photo that shows your face. One where you look happy, you’re smiling naturally, even laughing maybe. Choose a photo from a time you were having a good day. It shows in the photo.
Second, don’t use photos of you with other people. Members want to see YOU. They don’t want to see you surrounded by all your lady friends (this goes for guys AND girls!) And if you’re in the photo with someone of the same gender, how are potential dates supposed to know which one you are?? Keep the focus on you, and you alone.
And fellas? Keep your shirt on. That’s not what we’re interested in, and is in fact often times a complete turn-off. Oh, and while we’re on the topic, there is NO EXCUSE for mirror photos. I don’t need to know what your bathroom looks like. How hard is it to get someone to snap a photo of you? Better yet, raid your friends’ Facebook and Instagram accounts; they are sure to have photos of you that look more natural.
online-dating-advice-shirtless-profile-photoAnd don’t forget, most sites allow you to add multiple photos, so once you’ve chosen a stellar profile picture, feel free to add all those other photos of yourself. The more the better!
If you’re on a niche dating site, be sure to show off why it is you’re on the site! Joined a site for cat lovers? Put your little fur baby in the picture with you! Joined a site that connects travel lovers? Put up a photo from your last exotic vacation! And if you decide to join one of the more “adult” sites, you’re going to get much better results if you submit a raunchy profile picture. If you’re brave enough, show a little skin (or a lot!).


Approach online dating as you would a job search. Present yourself in the best possible light. Show potential matches why you’re so amazing. And use proper spelling/grammar/structure! There’s no reason not to and not doing so will only make you look juvenile and blasé.
And, as you should do with a resume or cover letter, get a friend to proofread and look over your profile for you. A second opinion can be invaluable.
Just like with a job search, online dating is a numbers game. Send out lots of messages! And don’t get discouraged if you don’t hear back from people. Not everyone is right for everyone else. When you get replies, take it slow – talk about mutual interests and find out what else you might have in common. Don’t be afraid to set up lots of dates! Go have a good time!
I hope that this advice will help you to make your profile as great as it can be so you’re able to find what you’re looking for in a match. Good luck!

Great advice from our friends at ! Take a look at their site for more great articles.

Friday, 30 August 2013

One Year Of Online Dating

Really good blog on Dating Over 50! Read it!

When your doorman thinks you are pathetic, you probably are.
“You’ve got to get out there while you’re still young enough to get a guy,” he said recently, and then added, “Your husband’s been gone a long time. What are you waiting for?”
“Good morning,” would’ve sufficed, but he certainly knew better than most the small life I was living. Borderline shut in I spent my days writing, took a few night classes, and occasionally went out with friends, but men? Hardly.
It was difficult to see myself in a new relationship while still in love with someone else. That was the dilemma. It was the biggest kind of love–one for the record books. Imagine if the perfect person, tailor-made, came into your life. That’s what happened to me. I knew it the moment I saw his face–like finding something I had forgotten I’d lost. After being alone for a decade, focused on raising my daughters, I finally had my fairy-tale ending.
Five years. That’s how long we were together, and then he died.
Today is an anniversary of sorts, and one I’ve dreaded. My husband has been gone longer than I knew him. I couldn’t fathom a life without him, but excruciatingly slowly I’ve learned to accept the reality of my situation. After five tough years, I’m open to the possibility of someone new in my life and ready to love again.
Two years ago I got in my car and drove from Las Vegas to Manhattan. I gave away most of my possessions and shipped only what would fit in my tiny apartment. Armed with a rough manuscript of a memoir I’d just complete (our story) and a newfound passion for writing, I thought I would immerse myself in the heart of the literary world and see if I could make something happen. Leaving all that was safe and familiar seemed crazy to many, but after losing the life I thought was mine I felt fearless.
Now that I was ready to love again, how would a 50-year-old widow living in New York City meet men? It’s hard for any single woman here where the ladies outnumber the guys but especially so when your life is spent alone hunched over a computer trying to be a writer. Gorgeous girls with Ivy educations and successful careers sit at home solo on Saturday nights in this city. What were my chances?
The answer was obvious. I’d have to jump into online dating where thousands of single men were a click away from my dance card.  My friend, an Internet dating expert, called it a numbers game. Most people go on a site, get disgusted after several bad dates and delete their profile. She said I must commit to a year and prepare to kiss a pond-full of amphibians.
Just the thought of my photos and profile on a dating website for 365 days made me jittery. I realized the stigma associated with online dating had diminished but there was something that felt, well, desperado.
BUT, the sooner I get started the quicker it might happen and this blog will document the process. If you’re considering online dating or just want to read about one middle-aged woman’s quest for love you can follow along. I’m in for a year, unless George Clooney calls or I meet my Cyber Prince Charming.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

Sunday, 25 August 2013

The Wedding Party

We're going to a friends wedding party tonight, so should be in for a great time!

But it does make me stop and think of all the single people out there this Bank Holiday weekend. These extended breaks can really drag on if you've no one special to share them with.

But it doesn't have to be this way you know. Online dating allows you to search locally for a new date, and gives you the chance to find out if they are likely to be compatible with you. All from the comfort of your own home! Once you see someone you like, you can start an online conversation and find out even more about them! If it feels right, arrange to meet up for a coffee - and you're dating again!

Friday, 9 August 2013

The Do's And Dont's Of Online Dating

Here is what the experts had to say:
Kate Taylor, relationship expert at
Do take the time to get your profile right. Spend some time making sure your profile is as good as it can be and that it accurately reflects your personality. 

Do concentrate on the written word. Make sure anything you publish on the net communicates the qualities you want to portray. 

Do make your first message count. Ensure it reads like a personal message by mentioning a few things from the person’s profile and interests that caught your eye and made you want to get in touch.
Don’t misrepresent yourself on your profile. It’s best not to use old photos for your profile picture and be completely honest about your hobbies and interests. 

Don't let a bad dating experience get you down. 

Don’t be afraid to make the first move.
online dating
Don't do this
Liz Marie, senior editor at WeLoveDates and HuffPost UK blogger
Do accept dates with people who aren't your “type”.
Do meet first dates in a public place and always let a friend or family member know where you'll be.
Do make online dating a priority.
Don't use a selfie as your profile photo! It looks like you don't have any friends!
Don't respond to every email that you receive-unless you really want to.
Don't wait for someone you're interested in to message you first!
online dating
Don't do this either
The Guyliner, HuffPost UK blogger and experienced online dater who is "taking on the internet one gay at a time"
Do be on time. Even slight lateness can set a miserable tone for the rest of the date.
Do be clean. You'd be surprised how often dates turn up without showering.
Do contribute to the conversation. It's great that you're "a good listener" but you're wrong if you think letting someone do all the talking makes for a great date.
Don't go for dinner on the first date. Once you're sitting at a table with this stranger, you're trapped until the bill comes – and they could be a very slow eater and dull to boot.
Don't arrive drunk or come from somewhere else where you've been drinking.
Don't lie on your dating profile. If you really want this to go somewhere, you'll have to be honest.
dinner man
Don't do this, either
Laura Jane Williams, HuffPost UK blogger and new on the internet dating scene
Do a little research. Before you write your profile, see what people your similar age and gender are saying about themselves.
Do remember that this is a dating site, not a job interview. Use your profile as a trailer, not the full movie.
Do actually date. Get out and meet in real life!
Don't sit idle. Aim for about ten new messages a day in order to get noticed by other users, and the site's algorithm.
Don't cut and paste. It's pretty easy to spot a generic "I send this to all the girls" message, and it won't do you any favours. Personalised messages stand out much more. and get a real dialogue going.
Don't mention how you promise you won't ever tell anyone you met online. The stigma attached to online dating is long gone. Be proud that you're being proactive in your search for love.

You heard the experts - get dating online now! 

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Meet the Foxy Fifties! Silver Surfers give internet dating sites a boost as it is revealed more over-50s than ever before are finding love online

  • Internet dating among those aged 50+ is up by 40%
  • Over-50's is fastest growing group of internet dating site users
  • Online is now the second most common place to meet a partner
  • First most common is through a mutual friend

It's never too late to be swept off your feet. And that's now truer than ever, thanks to the stratospheric rise of online dating.

The over-50's segment is the fastest growing group of subscribers for internet dating, and the sector has recently witnessed a 40 per cent leap in popularity.

Just ask loved-up Stella Ansell, 69, and her 72-year-old husband Peter. The newly married couple of 'silver surfers' from West Sussex were both widowed earlier in life, but they found love again with each other on the internet just two years ago.


Encouraged by family members who didn't want them to be alone after their partners died, they both took to the world wide web to find a companion.

Stella, 69, and Peter, 72, who met online in 2010 and are now engaged.

Joining a well known dating website, they were matched in 2010 because they're energetic, vibrant, adventurous and love doing things together.

They were engaged in October 2011 and married on 11 August this year.

And their story is becoming more and more common.

Online is now the second most common place to meet a partner, the first being through a mutual friend.

Moreover, websites catering solely for the over-50 demographic are appearing all over the internet, offering their services to the more mature dater.

Sites such as are all offering those over the age of 50 the opportunity to find romance.

Stella, who was alone for two years after her first husband died before joining the online site, told MailOnline: 'It's very difficult making the transitions from being a carer, to being on your own, to deciding to look for someone else.

'And then once I did eventually start trying to go to places like dinners or dancing, I got the feeling that other women were - completely unnecessarily - perhaps a little threatened by me as a single woman.

'With online dating you don't need to worry about that because you're already meeting someone who is in the same position as you.

'Both Peter and went for people online who had been widowed, not divorced, because we wanted someone who had gone through the same experience as us and come out the other side.

'Perhaps if I was 40 it would have been different, but in my sixties I wanted someone who had experienced what I had.'

Websites catering solely for the over-50 demographic are appearing all over the internet, offering their services to the more mature dater.

The couple's first date was almost, however, a disaster.

Stella said: 'It was almost horrendous! We chose to meet in a cosy pub in between us but on the day we picked there was a complete snowstorm and we were both absolutely snowed in!

'I managed to make it to the pub in the dreadful driving conditions, and as I slid across the ice into the car park I noticed only one other car doing the same.

'We both walked up to the door of the pub and there was a sign saying it was closed for refurbishment! Luckily, we both laughed, which was a good sign, and we took ourselves off for coffee...which lasted five hours'

Stella's advice for online daters over 50 is to be careful about which sites you use.

'Go to a website that looks into the type of person you really are, and matches you properly. There are sites out there that are just for a one-off date, but if that's not what you're looking for then be more thorough'.

Thanks to  MARTHA DE LACEY, Daily Mail, for the article.

Monday, 15 July 2013

5 Top Tips For The Over 50's Dating!

1. Put your best foot forward.
I hate to say it but there's serious competition out there based on the numbers from the Census Bureau.  For online dating spend time writing a profile that shows you in the best light.  Get a friend's opinion on the final draft.  And if you don't have a great photo, ask that same friend to snap a nice candid shot for you to post. 
Have a simple and flattering first date outfit already in the closet -- like a uniform.  When you have that first date, you don't have to agonize over what to where, how it fits, how you'll look.  You'll already know and be able to head to meet Mr. Maybe-Right with a little less stress.  And the best thing to show on the first date is the real you.  At 50+, who has time for being anything but authentic. 
2. Don't settle.
I'm not looking for Prince Charming anymore -- I went to his funeral years ago.  As I've gotten older, my ideal date is kind, smart, emotionally available (did I say that already?), thoughtful and not addicted to any substance other than chocolate or coffee.  Have you made a list of the qualities you'd like to find in the people you date at this point in life?  It helps you get real clear -- again -- on what works and what's non-negotiable for you in a relationship.  If someone doesn't measure up, don't settle for less than what you want. 
3. Lighten Up
When I was young, I took the whole dating thing so seriously.  As I think back on it, the end goal was to get married and have a family -- at least that's what I learned back in the day.  Now I don't really worry about getting married again.  So I'm less wedded -- not to make a pun -- to the end result and more to the journey in a relationship. 
I've also accepted that sometimes I meet someone who just not that into me.  If you haven't read the book by that name, it's enlightening-- and liberating.  From Kathryn Lord, the Romance Coach, here are a few signs that a man just isn't that into you:
  • He tells you he's just not that into you.
  • He tells you he isn't ready to settle down into a relationship.
  • Doesn't give you a hug or a kiss goodbye.
  • He doesn't call.
Sound familiar?
4. Protect yourself in all ways possible. 
First, don't share personal information, like your contact info until you've really gotten a comfort level with someone.  For instance, keep your email private which the top online dating sites always do for you.  If you decide to talk with someone on the phone, call them and *67 before you dial their number so your phone number isn't revealed. 
When you're ready to meet someone in person -- coffee in a very public place is a good first date -- advise a friend where you're going and that you will call after you leave.  My sister and I have this arrangement and it works well.  Once I progress to a longer date, like dinner, my sister knows to call at a certain time.  As I answer the call in front of my date, I apologize and jokingly explain how my sister and I look out for one another because my date -- and yours -- should know that someone cares about us.  
The other way to protect yourself is at the point you decide to take a new relationship into intimacy.  The bottom line is that over 50, we need our own stash of condoms and -- no you can't depend on the other person to have one.  Nancy over at Boomerful, who found herself single in midlife, reports that: 
After more than a year of being single, what I have learned is this: Condoms are a fact of life. Don't consider any other way, unless you are really monogamous and have both been tested. If you are in bed with a guy and he doesn't have the guts to use a condom ... or he tries to convince you that one isn't needed ... RUN. He is not worth a conversation, much less your body fluids and possibly your life.
If you're timid about buying a box of condoms from your friendly neighborhood pharmacist -- it is a weird feeling -- then you can buy them online.
5. Enjoy yourself. 
This one sounds easy but I'm not quite there.  It's a goal I haven't quite reached yet in this new world of dating over 50.  I'm hopeful, though.

Mature Dating over 50