Monday, 15 July 2013

5 Top Tips For The Over 50's Dating!

1. Put your best foot forward.
I hate to say it but there's serious competition out there based on the numbers from the Census Bureau.  For online dating spend time writing a profile that shows you in the best light.  Get a friend's opinion on the final draft.  And if you don't have a great photo, ask that same friend to snap a nice candid shot for you to post. 
Have a simple and flattering first date outfit already in the closet -- like a uniform.  When you have that first date, you don't have to agonize over what to where, how it fits, how you'll look.  You'll already know and be able to head to meet Mr. Maybe-Right with a little less stress.  And the best thing to show on the first date is the real you.  At 50+, who has time for being anything but authentic. 
2. Don't settle.
I'm not looking for Prince Charming anymore -- I went to his funeral years ago.  As I've gotten older, my ideal date is kind, smart, emotionally available (did I say that already?), thoughtful and not addicted to any substance other than chocolate or coffee.  Have you made a list of the qualities you'd like to find in the people you date at this point in life?  It helps you get real clear -- again -- on what works and what's non-negotiable for you in a relationship.  If someone doesn't measure up, don't settle for less than what you want. 
3. Lighten Up
When I was young, I took the whole dating thing so seriously.  As I think back on it, the end goal was to get married and have a family -- at least that's what I learned back in the day.  Now I don't really worry about getting married again.  So I'm less wedded -- not to make a pun -- to the end result and more to the journey in a relationship. 
I've also accepted that sometimes I meet someone who just not that into me.  If you haven't read the book by that name, it's enlightening-- and liberating.  From Kathryn Lord, the Romance Coach, here are a few signs that a man just isn't that into you:
  • He tells you he's just not that into you.
  • He tells you he isn't ready to settle down into a relationship.
  • Doesn't give you a hug or a kiss goodbye.
  • He doesn't call.
Sound familiar?
4. Protect yourself in all ways possible. 
First, don't share personal information, like your contact info until you've really gotten a comfort level with someone.  For instance, keep your email private which the top online dating sites always do for you.  If you decide to talk with someone on the phone, call them and *67 before you dial their number so your phone number isn't revealed. 
When you're ready to meet someone in person -- coffee in a very public place is a good first date -- advise a friend where you're going and that you will call after you leave.  My sister and I have this arrangement and it works well.  Once I progress to a longer date, like dinner, my sister knows to call at a certain time.  As I answer the call in front of my date, I apologize and jokingly explain how my sister and I look out for one another because my date -- and yours -- should know that someone cares about us.  
The other way to protect yourself is at the point you decide to take a new relationship into intimacy.  The bottom line is that over 50, we need our own stash of condoms and -- no you can't depend on the other person to have one.  Nancy over at Boomerful, who found herself single in midlife, reports that: 
After more than a year of being single, what I have learned is this: Condoms are a fact of life. Don't consider any other way, unless you are really monogamous and have both been tested. If you are in bed with a guy and he doesn't have the guts to use a condom ... or he tries to convince you that one isn't needed ... RUN. He is not worth a conversation, much less your body fluids and possibly your life.
If you're timid about buying a box of condoms from your friendly neighborhood pharmacist -- it is a weird feeling -- then you can buy them online.
5. Enjoy yourself. 
This one sounds easy but I'm not quite there.  It's a goal I haven't quite reached yet in this new world of dating over 50.  I'm hopeful, though.

Mature Dating over 50


1 comment:

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