Friday, 30 August 2013

One Year Of Online Dating

Really good blog on Dating Over 50! Read it!

When your doorman thinks you are pathetic, you probably are.
“You’ve got to get out there while you’re still young enough to get a guy,” he said recently, and then added, “Your husband’s been gone a long time. What are you waiting for?”
“Good morning,” would’ve sufficed, but he certainly knew better than most the small life I was living. Borderline shut in I spent my days writing, took a few night classes, and occasionally went out with friends, but men? Hardly.
It was difficult to see myself in a new relationship while still in love with someone else. That was the dilemma. It was the biggest kind of love–one for the record books. Imagine if the perfect person, tailor-made, came into your life. That’s what happened to me. I knew it the moment I saw his face–like finding something I had forgotten I’d lost. After being alone for a decade, focused on raising my daughters, I finally had my fairy-tale ending.
Five years. That’s how long we were together, and then he died.
Today is an anniversary of sorts, and one I’ve dreaded. My husband has been gone longer than I knew him. I couldn’t fathom a life without him, but excruciatingly slowly I’ve learned to accept the reality of my situation. After five tough years, I’m open to the possibility of someone new in my life and ready to love again.
Two years ago I got in my car and drove from Las Vegas to Manhattan. I gave away most of my possessions and shipped only what would fit in my tiny apartment. Armed with a rough manuscript of a memoir I’d just complete (our story) and a newfound passion for writing, I thought I would immerse myself in the heart of the literary world and see if I could make something happen. Leaving all that was safe and familiar seemed crazy to many, but after losing the life I thought was mine I felt fearless.
Now that I was ready to love again, how would a 50-year-old widow living in New York City meet men? It’s hard for any single woman here where the ladies outnumber the guys but especially so when your life is spent alone hunched over a computer trying to be a writer. Gorgeous girls with Ivy educations and successful careers sit at home solo on Saturday nights in this city. What were my chances?
The answer was obvious. I’d have to jump into online dating where thousands of single men were a click away from my dance card.  My friend, an Internet dating expert, called it a numbers game. Most people go on a site, get disgusted after several bad dates and delete their profile. She said I must commit to a year and prepare to kiss a pond-full of amphibians.
Just the thought of my photos and profile on a dating website for 365 days made me jittery. I realized the stigma associated with online dating had diminished but there was something that felt, well, desperado.
BUT, the sooner I get started the quicker it might happen and this blog will document the process. If you’re considering online dating or just want to read about one middle-aged woman’s quest for love you can follow along. I’m in for a year, unless George Clooney calls or I meet my Cyber Prince Charming.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

Sunday, 25 August 2013

The Wedding Party

We're going to a friends wedding party tonight, so should be in for a great time!

But it does make me stop and think of all the single people out there this Bank Holiday weekend. These extended breaks can really drag on if you've no one special to share them with.

But it doesn't have to be this way you know. Online dating allows you to search locally for a new date, and gives you the chance to find out if they are likely to be compatible with you. All from the comfort of your own home! Once you see someone you like, you can start an online conversation and find out even more about them! If it feels right, arrange to meet up for a coffee - and you're dating again!

Friday, 9 August 2013

The Do's And Dont's Of Online Dating

Here is what the experts had to say:
Kate Taylor, relationship expert at
Do take the time to get your profile right. Spend some time making sure your profile is as good as it can be and that it accurately reflects your personality. 

Do concentrate on the written word. Make sure anything you publish on the net communicates the qualities you want to portray. 

Do make your first message count. Ensure it reads like a personal message by mentioning a few things from the person’s profile and interests that caught your eye and made you want to get in touch.
Don’t misrepresent yourself on your profile. It’s best not to use old photos for your profile picture and be completely honest about your hobbies and interests. 

Don't let a bad dating experience get you down. 

Don’t be afraid to make the first move.
online dating
Don't do this
Liz Marie, senior editor at WeLoveDates and HuffPost UK blogger
Do accept dates with people who aren't your “type”.
Do meet first dates in a public place and always let a friend or family member know where you'll be.
Do make online dating a priority.
Don't use a selfie as your profile photo! It looks like you don't have any friends!
Don't respond to every email that you receive-unless you really want to.
Don't wait for someone you're interested in to message you first!
online dating
Don't do this either
The Guyliner, HuffPost UK blogger and experienced online dater who is "taking on the internet one gay at a time"
Do be on time. Even slight lateness can set a miserable tone for the rest of the date.
Do be clean. You'd be surprised how often dates turn up without showering.
Do contribute to the conversation. It's great that you're "a good listener" but you're wrong if you think letting someone do all the talking makes for a great date.
Don't go for dinner on the first date. Once you're sitting at a table with this stranger, you're trapped until the bill comes – and they could be a very slow eater and dull to boot.
Don't arrive drunk or come from somewhere else where you've been drinking.
Don't lie on your dating profile. If you really want this to go somewhere, you'll have to be honest.
dinner man
Don't do this, either
Laura Jane Williams, HuffPost UK blogger and new on the internet dating scene
Do a little research. Before you write your profile, see what people your similar age and gender are saying about themselves.
Do remember that this is a dating site, not a job interview. Use your profile as a trailer, not the full movie.
Do actually date. Get out and meet in real life!
Don't sit idle. Aim for about ten new messages a day in order to get noticed by other users, and the site's algorithm.
Don't cut and paste. It's pretty easy to spot a generic "I send this to all the girls" message, and it won't do you any favours. Personalised messages stand out much more. and get a real dialogue going.
Don't mention how you promise you won't ever tell anyone you met online. The stigma attached to online dating is long gone. Be proud that you're being proactive in your search for love.

You heard the experts - get dating online now!