Bonfire Night

So, another Bonfire Night comes around.

I think there is nothing better than going out to a firework display, in the lovely chilled autumn air, all wrapped up, with your new love on your arm. Maybe sharing a cup of hot wine too? Lovely!

Will you be going to one this year?

Don't let life pass you by - go out and live it!

The Do's And Don'ts Of Dating After 50

New York City (CNN) -- I never thought I'd be here, but here I am. And let me tell you -- dating at midlife just ain't what it's cracked up to be.

What's that, you say? Internet dating is all the rage! There's no stigma anymore. It makes perfect sense. With our hypercharged careers, family responsibilities, keeping up with the news and working out -- who has the time to meet people anymore? Forget singles bars. What woman in her 50s really enjoys meeting strange men at bars? Oh, wait. Most Internet "first dates" begin at bars. With strange men. Still, the draw is strong. Everybody seems to know somebody who's met her significant other online.

"Marie met the love of her life," said a friend. "She was smart enough to increase her radius of possibilities to 150 miles. And then she found Ben -- only three hours away." Only three hours? What nobody really seems to tell you is that for every online dating success story, there are hundreds of failures: misleading (or outright fraudulent) profiles, years-old photos (at 50, that makes a real difference), awkward conversations, sexual miscues, and clearly incompatible goals.

Ronni Berke

My situation is fairly typical. After juggling two children and a demanding job, my first marriage ended in divorce. I had given it some hard thinking, but my relationship with my husband, which began when we were both in college, really couldn't make it for the long haul. So I opted out. About a year later, I encountered a friendly, good-looking neighbor, who had just recently become single. Howard became my second husband and the love of my life. That made it all the more crushing when he died of a brain tumor two years into our marriage. Thus began a long period of mourning, in which I helped usher my two daughters into adulthood, and devoted more attention to my career. But I was awfully lonely. It didn't help that I went straight home from work every night and stayed in on weekends.

My friends would gently nudge me: "Why don't you just go out more, even with friends?" "Have you checked out JDate?" And the always dependable: "Take a class. You'll meet people." But I was stubborn. Oddly, I'm a very social person. Why was I cutting myself off from the world? My reasoning was this: If I don't do anything, don't "get out there," nothing bad will happen. As in no disappointment, no heartbreak. There's one problem with this line of thinking. Yes, if you don't do anything, nothing bad happens. However, nothing good happens, either. Nothing happens.

So, seven years after my husband's death, I took the plunge. I signed up for online dating and even went to a speed dating session at a local bar.

I approached online dating very seriously, enlisting help from close friends for my profile. It needed a dash of wit, a sprinkling of sass and an attractive photo. But not too much wit, and not too much sass. As for the photo: There's no such thing as too attractive. After everything posted, I got a flood of responses from men. Not because I'm an exceptional catch, but because those who've been on the sites for a while tend to pounce on a new candidate. There were men who lived in other states and countries. (I can't afford to see you. And Skype relationships are pretty two-dimensional.) Men who mentioned sexual details in their profiles. (Yes, we get that sex is important, even in middle age. But this is just too much information!) Men who were grammatically challenged. (Either I'm not worth a coherent sentence or you are unable to compose one.)

My first online date was at a nearby bar. I rushed home from work, put on a new outfit, makeup and perfume, and left the house looking and feeling like a million bucks. I walked into the bar where my date was sitting. Instantly, I could tell he wasn't interested. (Not that I was, either. But since then, I always arrive earlier than the man on a first date to check out, rather than be checked out.) The whole thing went downhill from there. My date spent an hour talking about what a long day he'd had, his allergies, and even checking out attractive women who walked by. Next!

The following night, I met a divorce lawyer for a drink. That job description should have been a red flag, but remember, I was trying to put myself "out there." He walked in and said: "You're a babe!" The last time someone called me a babe was, well, never. Yet, I tried to make the best of it, until he made a pass at me in the elevator. Want to seduce a woman? Trap her in a box and lunge at her. Works every time. Thankfully, I escaped unscathed.

After a few more encounters in which men talked nervously and endlessly about themselves, I met a man who seemed intelligent, attractive and interested in me. We dated for a couple of months. It was good for the ego at first, but turned out not to be a lasting relationship. Note to self: Just because a man doesn't talk about himself all the time doesn't mean he's right for you.

In addition to online dating, I've tried the novel approach of meeting men in person -- at a speed dating event. But it's just different for the boomer set. We're not kids anymore. We don't really do the "hang out, hook up" thing very well. Having a five-minute conversation isn't much of a barometer for a relationship.

Here are my "Speed Dating Dos and Don'ts, For Men of a Certain Age"

-- DO dress presentably. Clean it up. No Hawaiian shirts. And go easy on the hair product.

-- DO know how to talk to a woman. Bad line: "If your name weren't Ronni, what name would you want?" Good line: "You're a widow but out dating again? That's good for us men."

-- DON'T leave a woman sitting alone because you're too shy to come over during the break for buffet. For God's sake, it's speed dating. What did you sign up for?

-- DON'T talk about marriage on a five-minute speed date.

-- DO come up with a reason for why you're in your 50s (or 60s) and have never met the right woman. It can be finessed.

-- DON'T accidentally take your date's drink to the next table (and next date) with you. Pay attention to what you're doing.

-- DO know your selling points. If it's not your career -- and it can't always be -- come up with something you're good at.

-- DO act interested in what she's saying. Unless you just don't care.

But I am not giving up. I've told friends to keep on the lookout for suitable partners for me. I also have a couple of first dates next week with men I've met online. And yes -- expect me to get there first.

Thanks to CNN for this article!

Am I Too Old To Date Again?

In today's world, people don't often realize the importance of companionship until later in life. Staying fit and physically and socially active increases your odds of finding someone to date, and also increases your libido and your chances of successful sex. But, beware of too much focus on the surface, and not enough content. Such relationships quickly become empty and stressful.

Older couples have many issues to work out while dating. They are established, with clear likes and dislikes, and may have difficulty reaching agreement on lifestyle issues. They often have grown families, who may have trouble accepting a parent's or grandparent's dating. They also have relationship experience, and a widow or widower, for example, may have trouble getting beyond the previous marriage, and dealing with a different person.  The media focus on youth and fitness these days can make anyone feel insecure and unattractive. 

The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, shows you how to use the "get a life" method of pursuing your interests in a group fashion. Taking classes, supporting causes, or getting involved in civic, church or social groups will keep you interested, socially connected, and give you a chance to find someone with whom you have something in common.   Focus on activities that you enjoy (sports, classes, or political, social, charitable or religious activities ) which involve meeting other people and creating a social circle.  

If you are doing things that are meaningful to you, you'll automatically have something in common with anyone you meet there. It will also move your focus from desperation to something productive, which will bring out your most attractive character traits. As a bonus, you also get to observe that person around other people, which will tell you a lot about his/her character. Dating doesn't happen until you are already quite sure you two are mutually compatible and interested, and success is almost guaranteed.

Why not take a look at the book - it may help you get started again!  

                                                                    

One Year Of Online Dating

Really good blog on Dating Over 50! http://1yearofonlinedatingat50.com/ Read it!

When your doorman thinks you are pathetic, you probably are.

“You’ve got to get out there while you’re still young enough to get a guy,” he said recently, and then added, “Your husband’s been gone a long time. What are you waiting for?”

“Good morning,” would’ve sufficed, but he certainly knew better than most the small life I was living. Borderline shut in I spent my days writing, took a few night classes, and occasionally went out with friends, but men? Hardly.

It was difficult to see myself in a new relationship while still in love with someone else. That was the dilemma. It was the biggest kind of love–one for the record books. Imagine if the perfect person, tailor-made, came into your life. That’s what happened to me. I knew it the moment I saw his face–like finding something I had forgotten I’d lost. After being alone for a decade, focused on raising my daughters, I finally had my fairy-tale ending.

Five years. That’s how long we were together, and then he died.

Today is an anniversary of sorts, and one I’ve dreaded. My husband has been gone longer than I knew him. I couldn’t fathom a life without him, but excruciatingly slowly I’ve learned to accept the reality of my situation. After five tough years, I’m open to the possibility of someone new in my life and ready to love again.

Two years ago I got in my car and drove from Las Vegas to Manhattan. I gave away most of my possessions and shipped only what would fit in my tiny apartment. Armed with a rough manuscript of a memoir I’d just complete (our story) and a newfound passion for writing, I thought I would immerse myself in the heart of the literary world and see if I could make something happen. Leaving all that was safe and familiar seemed crazy to many, but after losing the life I thought was mine I felt fearless.

Now that I was ready to love again, how would a 50-year-old widow living in New York City meet men? It’s hard for any single woman here where the ladies outnumber the guys but especially so when your life is spent alone hunched over a computer trying to be a writer. Gorgeous girls with Ivy educations and successful careers sit at home solo on Saturday nights in this city. What were my chances?

The answer was obvious. I’d have to jump into online dating where thousands of single men were a click away from my dance card.  My friend, an Internet dating expert, called it a numbers game. Most people go on a site, get disgusted after several bad dates and delete their profile. She said I must commit to a year and prepare to kiss a pond-full of amphibians.

Just the thought of my photos and profile on a dating website for 365 days made me jittery. I realized the stigma associated with online dating had diminished but there was something that felt, well, desperado.

BUT, the sooner I get started the quicker it might happen and this blog will document the process. If you’re considering online dating or just want to read about one middle-aged woman’s quest for love you can follow along. I’m in for a year, unless George Clooney calls or I meet my Cyber Prince Charming.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

Meet the Foxy Fifties! Silver Surfers give internet dating sites a boost as it is revealed more over-50s than ever before are finding love online

• Internet dating among those aged 50+ is up by 40%
• Over-50's is fastest growing group of internet dating site users
• Online is now the second most common place to meet a partner
• First most common is through a mutual friend

It's never too late to be swept off your feet. And that's now truer than ever, thanks to the stratospheric rise of online dating.

The over-50's segment is the fastest growing group of subscribers for internet dating, and the sector has recently witnessed a 40 per cent leap in popularity.

Just ask loved-up Stella Ansell, 69, and her 72-year-old husband Peter. The newly married couple of 'silver surfers' from West Sussex were both widowed earlier in life, but they found love again with each other on the internet just two years ago.

 

Encouraged by family members who didn't want them to be alone after their partners died, they both took to the world wide web to find a companion.

Stella, 69, and Peter, 72, who met online in 2010 and are now engaged.

Joining a well known dating website, they were matched in 2010 because they're energetic, vibrant, adventurous and love doing things together.

They were engaged in October 2011 and married on 11 August this year.

And their story is becoming more and more common.

Online is now the second most common place to meet a partner, the first being through a mutual friend.

Moreover, websites catering solely for the over-50 demographic are appearing all over the internet, offering their services to the more mature dater.

Sites such as www.datingover50uk.com are all offering those over the age of 50 the opportunity to find romance.

Stella, who was alone for two years after her first husband died before joining the online site, told MailOnline: 'It's very difficult making the transitions from being a carer, to being on your own, to deciding to look for someone else.

'And then once I did eventually start trying to go to places like dinners or dancing, I got the feeling that other women were - completely unnecessarily - perhaps a little threatened by me as a single woman.

'With online dating you don't need to worry about that because you're already meeting someone who is in the same position as you.

'Both Peter and went for people online who had been widowed, not divorced, because we wanted someone who had gone through the same experience as us and come out the other side.

'Perhaps if I was 40 it would have been different, but in my sixties I wanted someone who had experienced what I had.'

Websites catering solely for the over-50 demographic are appearing all over the internet, offering their services to the more mature dater.

The couple's first date was almost, however, a disaster.

Stella said: 'It was almost horrendous! We chose to meet in a cosy pub in between us but on the day we picked there was a complete snowstorm and we were both absolutely snowed in!

'I managed to make it to the pub in the dreadful driving conditions, and as I slid across the ice into the car park I noticed only one other car doing the same.

'We both walked up to the door of the pub and there was a sign saying it was closed for refurbishment! Luckily, we both laughed, which was a good sign, and we took ourselves off for coffee...which lasted five hours'

Stella's advice for online daters over 50 is to be careful about which sites you use.

'Go to a website that looks into the type of person you really are, and matches you properly. There are sites out there that are just for a one-off date, but if that's not what you're looking for then be more thorough'.

Thanks to  MARTHA DE LACEY, Daily Mail, for the article.

Do's And Dont's Of Online Dating

Do accept dates with people who aren't your “type”.

Do meet first dates in a public place and always let a friend or family member know where you'll be.

Do make online dating a priority.

Don't use a selfie as your profile photo! It looks like you don't have any friends!

Don't respond to every email that you receive-unless you really want to.

Don't wait for someone you're interested in to message you first!

Do a little research. Before you write your profile, see what people your similar age and gender are saying about themselves.

Do remember that this is a dating site, not a job interview. Use your profile as a trailer, not the full movie.

Do actually date. Get out and meet in real life!

Don't sit idle. Aim for about ten new messages a day in order to get noticed by other users, and the site's algorithm.

Don't cut and paste. It's pretty easy to spot a generic "I send this to all the girls" message, and it won't do you any favours. Personalised messages stand out much more. and get a real dialogue going.

Don't mention how you promise you won't ever tell anyone you met online. The stigma attached to online dating is long gone. Be proud that you're being proactive in your search for love.

'Why Bother Looking For Love at This Stage?' One Woman Asked

Why am I still open to a new relationship-still in this often difficult and sometimes even painful game?

In the comments section of my blog, a question one reader posed just stopped me in my tracks. Her comment: "When are we (and by 'we' I assume she mainly meant me) going to finally stop looking for a new man for this latter part of our lives when so many of us have already created such full, busy, fulfilling, wonderful lives? Do we really need to put up with the potential needs, demands and idiosyncrasies that any man we find online would put on us, for potentially minimal return on our investment?"

I appreciate comments, because many are thought-provoking. This one, though, made me sad, because of what I see as her resignation. If I understand exactly what she's saying, she wants "us" older women to give up the hunt and accept that we've already had our time as part of a loving, passionate relationship, be it a marriage or other form of companionship. So ladies, that game is over for us, let's just give up the Quixotic quest, settle down to old age and find fulfillment with family and friends, clients and associates if we're still working, grand-kids if we have any, dogs, cats, books, and favourite TV shows? Anyone for golf, bridge, canasta?

Perhaps this strategy has worked for this commenter. Perhaps it has even brought her happiness or at least contentment. But I personally am not resigned. I was a happily married woman and knew what it was to have a solid, beautiful relationship. I have also never resigned from anything in my life and don't intend to now. Yes, this "online dating" thing is not easy. You need to become adept at reading between the lines. You need to have a sharp ear for what's not said. You need to sift through some "little white lies" and some big ones too...like the 'midweek dater' who took me out to one of the best restaurants in the city (which by the way does not impress me; I am happy in a diner with the right guy). Over champagne in icy chilled glasses (well okay that was quite nice!) he asked me out again--for another Tuesday night---then offered every excuse possible about why he could not be available to date on weekends. Well, every excuse except that four letter word the starts with W and ends with E. Just put IF in the middle and you have his real reason! Who falls for these things?

The selection process is harder now than it was at an earlier age, because of the illusions and delusions you have to push through. If there is a next life, maybe I'll come back as a male. If I do come back as a guy and wind up on match.com at this same age I am now, 72, or even older, and write in my profile as so many men do, that I want to meet women "35 to 45" or some equally inappropriate age ranges, please just kill me. You have my written permission.

Give up looking for love, again? Never! I know what intimacy is, and I want it again, in this life, not the next.

When I read her comment, I also wondered if this woman would give this advice to men about not bothering to look for love one last time. One of the men I dated a couple of times was a Harvard-trained doctor, a brilliant conversationalist and a world traveller with energy and much love and affection to share. He is a young 88. Turned out he wanted someone in a similar situation: retired and able to travel regularly with him. Tempting as that was I am so far away from retirement I can't even see that distant shore. Plus, yes, his age was a consideration. My point is that this sweet man, even at age 88, was sure not ready to give up his one more chance at the brass ring. He wants a loving woman on his arm, in his bed and next to him in the first class or river cruise cabin. And why not, when he richly deserves it! Do we want to play it safe, and eventually die in a nursing home, drooling and in diapers, or play big, make love on the high seas, and maybe never have to go down that slippery slope...?

Yes, Virginia, there are many delusional people in this world! But as long as there is hope and goodness and online dating I will keep believing in this particular Santa Claus: the one that will one day deliver another great man to my door, and have him stay with me right through to the end, in my daily life, in my bed, and always, making me laugh.

It would help if he can cook, since I am hopeless in the kitchen. I nuked a potato in the microwave recently. I didn't know you should only leave it in for about six minutes so I put it in for an hour. I was still clueless, even as the smoke alarm went off and the entire apartment filled with smoke. When I opened the microwave door, all I saw sitting here was a tiny black marble. I nuked a potato! Okay, that is not my area of genius. A man who can laugh at my human failings and foibles will earn my trust and love, and I will do the same for him.

People have asked how "that date" went, the one I wrote about last week in my first Huffington Post blog. Are you ready for this? I did tell him that I "might" write about dating for the HP (because, frankly, I didn't want him to ask to see anything and know I already wrote about him). He said, "Great. I'll help you with the research, because you will need a man's POV. So can you set me up with Martha Stewart? Not that I'm interested in her. I would do it for you. I'll report back on our date, and you can write it up."

He was serious! As kindly as I could, I told him people were already setting Martha up with men like Liam Neeson and Tim Robbins. Did he (living on modest income, admitted he could not "perform") really think he had a chance with her? I did ask him that, but did NOT mention his shortcomings. I figured he would know what I meant. "Oh sure," he said without hesitation, completely confident he had what it takes. "Martha would really like me. I would be a refreshing change. A real person, not some entertainer."

'Some entertainer' eh? Ok, going back to delusional, as I said, it isn't always easy to deal with. But, since we all have a touch of it, let's be kind to each other. Of course I will never see this man again. Interestingly, I was debating how to break our next date, and decided to send him an email, and then call. He actually took it real well, saying he understood. "You live in Manhattan and I live in New Jersey. The commute is just too difficult." Let him live with that belief, that it's the commute, and let him find his own way to Martha Stewart. I have 24 more interesting matches in my inbox right now, and I am going to answer a few.

But I do have another amazing story to tell you next week...about a much younger man who wrote to me, and a story that a woman told me that will make any disappointment you might have most likely pale in comparison.

In the week and months ahead, unless someone shuts me down, there will be happy stories, funny stories, poignant stories and more, all true, and all meant to help light the way and make your journey down this road perhaps a little bit brighter, so stay tuned. And please do share your own thoughts and stories with me.

Thanks to:

Judy Katz

Men Over 50 -- May I Give You Some Dating Advice?

I've been dabbling in online dating, and I'm actually enjoying it. I realize that my enjoyment goes hand in hand with not having anything at stake, no enormous expectations. I'm not looking to replace my beloved husband, who died in 2008. (That would be impossible.) I don't need to find someone to give my life meaning and joy, because my life already has meaning and joy.

I do want to bring more male energy into my life, get to know men who are not already in my sphere of friends, enjoy a new companion. There's a lot of joie de vivre in me, and I'd like to share that. If it results in connecting with someone and rocking each other's world, that's a big bonus.

I wrote this comment on a message board for women over 50 in response to one person who was scared to date:

If you think of dating as your way to learn about another person and about yourself without risking anything, it can be fun -- go for coffee or a walk or dinner with someone new, talk, see what you both enjoy discussing and doing. It's when you think of dating as auditioning a potential soulmate that it becomes fraught with anxiety, unpleasantness, and emotional danger.

I really enjoy first dates. I'm interested in learning what we do and don't have in common, and which of the divergences matter a lot. Plus, the writer in me loves hearing people's stories, and first dates are a great way to learn a huge amount in an hour, because it's expected that we share our stories.

Although I'm newly dating after 12 years, I already have some strong opinions about online dating do's and don't's. Here are a few, aimed at men because that's my experience. Are the same true of women, or are there other things that women typically do that irk you?

Advice for Men about Profile Photos

1. Please use a current image as your default photo. It's fine to include older photos also -- I love to see the long, bushy hair you wore in 1969! -- but label them with the year (if your site permits captions), and make those secondary photos, not your main one.
2. Include at least one recently taken close-up of your face. Do. Not. Wear. Sunglasses. I can't tell you how many profiles I skip over because the man is wearing sunglasses. I need to see your eyes.
3. Make your default photo just you -- no buddies on a fishing trip, no arms around a woman who might be your daughter or maybe your ex-wife, and absolutely no edited photo with the woman at your side cropped out (we can tell)!

Advice about Your Profiles

1. Please give your real age and body build. If we'll eliminate you if you're older or heavier than attracts us, so be it -- that would happen once we met anyway. By the way, I'm learning that "average" build/body type can mean 30-50 pounds overweight. Is it true for women's profiles, too, guys?
2. I love it when men 50+ are looking for women their age and even older, but some of you say you're seeking to date women who are at least 10 years your junior. Is that simply an attraction thing? Or are you ruling out vibrant women your age for some reason I don't understand? Sometimes I write men with this question, and occasionally it leads a man to change his upper limit requirement! Mostly, though, they don't answer.
3. I really respect those of you who give me a courtesy of a "no thank you" if I write you first and you're not interested. I see you as polite and compassionate when you write something like "Thank you for writing, but I don't see us as a match. Best wishes...." rather than not answering at all.

Advice For When We Meet

1. Be yourself, be truthful, tell me about yourself -- and I'll do the same. That doesn't mean dumping details of your last health exam or therapy session, but take the opportunity to show me who you really are and what matters to you. We're too old to play the I'll-try-to-appear-to-be-who-you-want-me-to-be game.
2. Please also try to learn about me. If you do all the talking and don't ask me any questions, I don't know if it's nervousness or that you don't care who I am. As interesting as you may be, a monologue absolutely rules out a second date.
3. If we've gone out to dinner, I won't assume you'll pay because you're a man -- I'll offer to share the expense. If you prefer to pick up the check, tell me with a smile, and I'll accept with thanks. But please don't make a face, shudder, and tell me how much you hate "women's libbers" who "act like men." No kidding, someone did that. He's a very nice man and we had good conversation over dinner, but clearly our values and opinions don't match enough for a second date.

I know that none of this advice applies only to people over 50 (except maybe for the 1969 hairstyle), but those of us who are starting to date again at this age may feel that all the rules have changed since we last did this. And they're right!

====
Ageless sexuality advocate Joan Price is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty.Naked at Our Age won Outstanding Self-Help Book 2012 from the American Society of Journalists and Authors and Best Book 2012 from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Joan edited the new steamy senior sex anthology,Ageless Erotica. Visit her zesty, award-winning blog about sex and aging athttp://www.NakedAtOurAge.com, where Joan continues to talk out loud about Boomer/ senior sex, partnered or solo.

Is It All About Sex?

For mature daters, re-entering the dating game can be a shocking and intimidating experience.  Most likely, you've been in serious, long term relationships or have been married - so you haven’t had to worry about things like first dates or when to sleep with someone for the first time…and it can seem like sex is everywhere.

There is also a lot of pressure to keep up with other women, but always remember - just because some woman will sleep with a guy on date number two doesn't mean you need to…or he even really wants you to.

If you've been out of practice for awhile, here’s a little refresher course!  Men thrive on attraction and love a good challenge, so giving it all up at the beginning quickly bores him.  Some women believe that the only way to get a guy to call them again is to get physical too soon…these are the women who usually end  up waiting by the phone wondering why he disappeared.

Men are able to separate sex and emotions, where women have more of a difficult time doing this-it’s just how we are wired.  Spark his attraction by posing a challenge and by not letting him get what he wants, at least not right away.  You can be sexy without resorting to sex, and any man worth your time realizes this. Making him wait for a bit before sleeping with him also shows you what his true intentions are-if he’s only in it for sex, chances are he won’t stay around waiting very long-he’ll move onto an easier target.

Getting physical should be on your terms, and only when you feel completely ready.  Ignore what you think you “should” do to keep his interest…only do what feels right for you, as cliché as it is.  Don’t try to keep up with anyone else, or rely totally on the physical to form a connection. 

Remember, you have nothing to prove…and everything to gain.

http://www.datingover50uk.com

Online Dating Tips: Strengthening Communication

We’re in the digital age, which means online personals have become a mainstream mode to find a date. Perhaps you’ve taken the initiative to try out a site like Datingover50UK.com. Great! Now it’s time to relearn the rules of the manhunt.

Communication is key. For example, that dreaded first email. Let’s say you have a great profile, you’ve made initial contact, but now what? You wait, check your inbox a million times, and after getting no response, you make plans to join a convent.

Don’t be silly. You know the right guy is out there for you. Just follow these 5 tips that’ll put the odds of getting a response in your favor!

1. Read profiles before making contact: This is how you determine whether you’re compatible and have common interests. After you decide to send a message, include a line that shows you read the profile. People generally appreciate the effort and will reciprocate.

2. Be honest! Don’t exaggerate your qualities or misrepresent yourself. After all, if you plan on meeting singles face-to-face and you’re not that 5’11” Cindy Crawford lookalike you showcased on your profile, it will be awkward. Take your mom’s advice: honesty is the best policy.

3. Don’t abbreviate too many words: An abbreviation here and there is okay, but if a person needs a decoder ring to figure out what you’re trying to say, chances are they will just hit the delete button.

4. Sell yourself without sounding full of yourself: Your friends and family know you’re awesome, but continuous self-promotion is a turn off. Remember, you want to engage people with your message, not make them scoff and roll their eyes.

5. End with a question: Asking questions will prompt potential dates to respond. For example, if a person’s profile says they’re into hiking, ask them something like, “I see you’re into hiking! Me too. Do you have any favorite trails?” Easy, right?

Now single ladies, take this advice and find a love match!

Thanks to Lauren Conrad for this article

It's Never Too Late To Date!

Too many women in their 50's and beyond have given up on ever meeting Mr. Practically Perfect. But a small inner voice whispers, "Will I always have to eat alone and go to bed with a book?" Responding to that voice, the authors' encouraging message is, "It's never too late. We did it. So can you."

Think of every date as an adventure. If it ends with a handshake instead of a kiss, never beat yourself up. Just smile ruefully, mentally push last night's loser off a cliff, and move on to the next candidate. Above all: persist, persist, persist.

Howard and Shirley wrote a book on it! Click on their link below to see more...

http://www.itsnevertoolatetodate.com/

Or if you are ready, click HERE to find your perfect match!

Is Sex An Important Part Of Your Life?

Shhhh... sex does not stop in your 60's!

But according to experts older people find it difficult to talk about sex and do not know where to go for advice.

Age UK said that despite problems associated with getting older it did not mean an end to a sex life.

The charity carried out a survey of over 65's and found that a quarter (24%) said their sexual lifestyle has not changed despite their age.

Sex drives thrive in old age

But more than a quarter (28%) feel they cannot talk to their partner about sex and over two thirds (69%) have never sought sexual health advice.

And almost one in 10 (8%) of over-65s are keen to embark on a new sexual relationship.

The survey highlighted the extent to which sex remains an important part of people's lives, with almost two thirds (62%) of over-65's in the survey saying that they are currently enjoying a fulfilling sex life.

What's more, a wish to keep the spark alive came through in the findings, as one in eight (12%) said they would like to try new things with their partner.

Just under one in five (18%) want to be more sexually active - rising to over a quarter (27%) among men.

Lucy Harmer, from Age UK, said: "Our survey shows that having a healthy sex life is important to us regardless of our age.

"However, we also found that many older people may find it hard to speak up about sex, be it to their partner, friends or healthcare professionals.

"Age UK is keen to increase awareness of the importance of seeking out information and advice on sex - whatever your age.

"Some people's knowledge will be based on guidance received when they were first sexually active a number of years ago - and it's vital that those in later life have access to relevant, up-to-date information.

"The changes that many people face as we age, such as the menopause or finding our joints become less supple, don't necessarily mean our sex life has to stop.

"The right information and advice will help people in later life to keep sexually active and healthy for as long as desired."

:: A total of 2,000 UK adults over 65, and 2,000 UK adults under 50, were surveyed via an online poll by Vision Critical in November 2012.

http://www.datingover50uk.com

Secrets to a Successful Re-Entry Into the World of Dating

Re-entering the dating scene after divorce or a long-term relationship can be intimidating and daunting to any woman.

Even the most accomplished, confident or beautiful woman can regress to the point of feeling like a pimple-faced, awkward adolescent at a middle school dance.

To say you feel “out of practice” may be a gross understatement. It is enough to make you curl up on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while sobbing through reruns of romantic Hugh Grant movies.

You may even be convinced romance is just for the lucky or the young. To make matters worse, you may be feeling discarded, unappreciated or rejected by your former spouse or lover.

While the realization you don’t want to spend the rest of your life alone may be surfacing, you may also be asking if it is worth the risk to give love another chance, especially if you have just been burned and the wounds are still painfully fresh.

While the cautionary tales of “love gone bad” are ever abundant, sometimes hope springs eternal and you may find yourself considering “giving it another go.”

There are ways to wisely navigate through this “flowered meadow” filled with potential land mines.

1. Get really clear about what you want.

Wisdom does come through experience. By now, you know yourself and likely have some clarity about what you want and need in a relationship.

Do you actually want another long-term relationship or marriage, or do you just want some companionship?

You may find you need some time and space on your own to recover and avoid the sometimes ghastly “rebound relationship.”

“A renewed sense of joy just might lead

you to the best love you have ever had.”

2. Try not to take the process too seriously.

This is easier said than done since it may feel like your heart is on the line, but remember love and romance are supposed to be fun.

I think it’s sad when all the joy is taken out of the equation and is displaced by fear.

If you need to ease back in slowly, try to participate in social engagements and settings which feel safe and enjoyable to you.

Choose activities which interest and excite you since having a life filled with things you love is very attractive and rewarding.

While you are not likely to meet “The One” at a daytime yoga class, it is at least getting you out of the house.

Once you feel more comfortable in social situations, you can branch out and stretch a little by expanding your social circles and trying new things.

Then once you really get your mojo going strong, you can go to where the men are: car shows, business events, financial seminars and sporting events, just to name a few. Or maybe try Internet Dating?

A renewed sense of joy, hope and adventure just might lead you to the best love you have ever had.

Are you ready?

Michelle Marchant Johnson is a writer, speaker and relationship coach who partners with single women who want to find love and romance. Go to www.lovelifelifecoaching.com to receive your complimentary "7 Attraction Principles" e-course, "Love Notes" newsletter and request a complimentary "Find Your Love" coaching session. Michelle found love at age 43 and is a breast cancer survivor who believes life is meant to be filled with love and passion.

Loneliness 'time bomb' warning fuelled by baby-boomer divorces

Research published as part of David Cameron’s plan to measure the nation’s “happiness” indicates that almost seven million members of the baby-boomer generation and above admit feeling lonely.

Among people over 80, the proportion rises to almost half, including a large minority who admit they feel lonely much of the time.

But campaign groups warned that the study suggests that the generation now approaching retirement will prove to be a “loneliness time bomb”.

The study, published by the Office for National Statistics (ONS), shows that loneliness is most acute among those who live alone or have long-standing illnesses which prompt then to become more isolated.

But the report also draws attention to the role of divorce and separation among over 50s as a major contributory factor.

Using data gathered as part of the English Longitudinal Study on Ageing which follows the lives of more than 10,000 English people throughout older age, ONS analysts found that 34 per cent of people aged 52 and over openly described themselves as feeling lonely some or much of the time.

Among over 80s the proportion rises to 46 per cent, including 17 per cent who said that they felt lonely much of the time.

Almost six out of 10 of those samples who lived on their own spoke of feeling lonely, the same proportion of those who described them selves as being in poor health who also felt acute isolation.

Unsurprisingly those who had been widowed were most likely to feel lonely some or much of the time – 63 per cent. But those who had been divorced or separated were next in line, with 51 per cent reporting loneliness marking their lives.

By contrast only just over four out of 10 of those who had always been single said they felt lonely.

The figures show that consistently higher proportions of women report feeling loneliness more acutely than men. The ONS said that this may be because, as women live longer, a higher proportion experience being widowed than men.

Official figures published last year showed that the numbers of According to the Office for National Statistics the number of so-called “silver splitters” – older people getting divorced from their husband or wife had almost doubled in a decade.

Laura Ferguson, director of the Campaign to End Loneliness, who supports greater services for older people, said social changes meant that Britain could soon be facing a loneliness epidemic.

She said: “In the cohort of people coming through there are larger numbers of people living alone – partly due to divorce – than ever before.

“If we don’t shift attitudes to being alone and not being happy with that, I think frankly they are a time bomb.

“If there is a large cohort coming through with all of the risk factors [for loneliness] we are going to have a very serious problem.”

She added that the problem was most acute among women not just because of the loss of a partner but because women are more likely than men to experience bereavement through the loss of close friends whom they outlive.

Michelle Mitchell, director general of Age UK, said: “As we get older, we are more likely to suffer illness and disability which can prevent us from getting out and about, and people’s social networks often shrink due to life-changing events such as retirement and bereavement which can increase the risk of becoming lonely.

“We are extremely concerned that cuts to local authority budgets are exacerbating the problem of loneliness and isolation for many older people.”

Andrew Burgess, planning director of Churchill Retirement Living, said: “The latest census data shows that approximately one in six people in England and Wales are over 65 and this is by far the fastest growing age group.

“Many people in this age range will end up in single-person households due to the death of a partner, the breakdown of a relationship, or the loosening of family bonds.

“Declining health and mobility challenges will invariably exacerbate the situation for many.

“This is not just a problem for us as a society concerned for the mental well-being of our neighbours – studies have shown that lonely people are more likely to suffer from health problems and require more support from the state.”

Article from The Daily Telegraph

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