Are You Putting Off Potential Dates?

When you are setting up your profile, think about how people will see you in your photo, as generally that will be the first thing they look at, and if it isn't appealing, you will no doubt get passed by however good your description of yourself is.

So make sure:

1. Its in focus.
2. Its nice and light.
3. You're smiling!
4. It's reasonably close up.
5. It's not from a drunken night out.

Follow these simple rules and you'll be one step ahead of about 60% of the competition!

Good Luck!

http://www.datingover50uk.com

Sex Counts As 'Significant' Exercise, Says Scientists

Cancel the gym membership and send your kids/flatmates out to get milk - according to scientists, sex counts as 'significant' exercise.

This comes as good news to those of us who hate gyms or have been vacuuming the house a bit too vigorously to shed the festive season pounds.

Researchers, reported The Daily Mail, "found that men burn 120 calories from half an hour between the sheets, while women can lose 90 calories."

For most of us, that's the equivalent of a 15-minute jog.

""The couples were instructed to perform their usual sexual activities and not to use drugs, alcohol or medication for erectile dysfunction such as Viagra," reported The Telegraph.

The subjects, who were also asked to jog on a treadmill for 30 minutes, were fitted with armbands to measure how much energy they were expending and fill in questionnaires to record their enjoyment."

Aside from the findings of the study, there are plenty of other health benefits of sex, ahem, other than cardio.

Research from Scotland revealed that people who had sex even twice a fortnight managed stressful situations better.

WomensHealthMag.com reported: "That's because endorphins and oxytocin are released during sex, and these feel-good hormones activate pleasure centers in the brain that create feelings of intimacy and relaxation and help stave off anxiety and depression, says WH advisor Laura Berman, Ph.D., an assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University and author of It's Not Him, It's You!"

The number of calories each person burned was recorded, as well as their metabolic equivalent of task (MET). This is what measures an activity against sitting still, which is called 1-MET.

In the end, the results showed that men burned on average 4.2 calories a minute, compared to 9.2 on the treadmill, while women burned 3.1 calories a minute during sex and 7.1 jogging.

The study also recorded an average 6-MET for men during sex and 5.6-MET for women, roughly the same as playing doubles tennis or walking uphill.

"These results suggest that sexual activity may potentially be considered, at times, as a significant exercise,” said lead author Julie Frappier.

"Moreover, both men and women reported that sexual activity was a highly enjoyable and more appreciated than the 30 min exercise session on the treadmill. Therefore, this study could have implications for the planning of intervention programs as part of a healthy lifestyle by health care professionals."

Dating over 50

Just because you are over 50, it doesn't mean that you can't date!

Remember when you say "I wish I knew what I know now when I was 18..." Well, you do know now! So put it to good use and carry on living. Dating and flirting makes you feel younger, makes you feel alive.

Find new friends here.

http://www.datingover50uk.com

Older women can now share in Joy of Sex

An author who rewrote The Joy of Sex last year said divorced middle-aged women can now enjoy active sex lives without fearing judgment

Photo: GETTY IMAGES

By Miranda Prynne, News Reporter

7:55AM GMT 06 Nov 2013

An author who rewrote the famous manual The Joy of Sex claims women’s love lives now get better with age.

Susan Quilliam claims divorced middle-aged women can enjoy “full and active sex lives” that was not possible for earlier generations.

The psychologist, who rewrote Alex Comfort’s famous 1972 sex manual to mark its 40th anniversary, said mature women in 2013 were free to indulge in new affairs after splitting from their husbands without being labelled “sluts”.

She pointed out that age and experience were now considered added attractions rather than signs a woman was “past it”.

The 63-year-old, whose 21-year marriage recently ended, said women no longer needed to fear disapproval for experimenting in the bedroom.

Speaking at the Cambridge University Festival of Ideas, she said: “In theory, I can, if I so wish, go out and sleep with somebody tonight without opprobrium, without being told I’m a slut.

“Well, there are some people who will still think I’m a slut, but largely we are lucky. Us women in 2013, we are lucky as no other women before us.

“We are lucky post Pill and post the Abortion Act to be able to know and decide where, what, who, how and also whether and where to look for sex – and where things are and what to do with them.”

She added: “Compared to our mothers’ and grandmothers’ generations we have more choice.

“More choice to have a relationship or not. The choice of whether to have a short-term relationship of just a few hours or a long-term one.

“We can also choose who we partner with. Our grandparents’ generation was firmly told they had to partner with someone of their own class and age.

“We can choose a partner who is younger or older, people who do not come from the same background or even the same continent.

The Cambridge-based writer, who married her former husband Ian Grove-Stephen, 56, in 1992, published a modern version of the self-help book The Joy of Sex last year.

She said: “When the original book came out in 1972, women who were over 50 or 60 years old were seen as past it, whereas they are now seen as attractive.

“We can have full and active sex lives. I know a lot of women over 50 with good sex lives.

“Women have become more powerful in society and because of this increase in power have been able to set the rules more.

“Society is more mature and experience in the bedroom is now seen as being just as compelling as being attractive.

“Older women now know a lot more about our bodies and how to please a man.”

Miss Quillam said widowed women were no longer under pressure to remain single for the rest of their lives.

She said: “Women do not have to be afraid. They can grab their own life by the scruff of the neck and think, “Let’s do this”. That’s something my mother and grandmother were not able to do.”

Miss Quillam refused to comment on whether she was currently in a relationship.

Article from The Telegraph

Bonfire Night

So, another Bonfire Night comes around.

I think there is nothing better than going out to a firework display, in the lovely chilled autumn air, all wrapped up, with your new love on your arm. Maybe sharing a cup of hot wine too? Lovely!

Will you be going to one this year?

Don't let life pass you by - go out and live it!

Four Essential Mature Online Dating Tips

Online Dating is quickly becoming one of the best ways for mature daters to find love. It’s convenient, confidential and gives you the chance to meet people you might never have crossed paths with otherwise. Online Dating shouldn’t be complicated or confusing. Use our tips below to get the most our of your online dating experience!

Choose the right online dating site for you. Before you take the plunge and sign up for an online dating site, it’s important to consider which site you’re going to use. Different dating sites cater to different types of people based on their lifestyles or preferences. Other sites do the matching for you, which is great if you trust their system, but not so good if you want a more hands on approach. Do your research, and ask friends and family what sites they might recommend. Plus, don’t forget that you aren’t limited to one site and one site only! Since most allow members to sign up for free, try out a few different online dating sites before you upgrade to the paid option.

Keep an open mind. One of the most exciting things about mature dating is how drastically different the dating landscape is now versus how it was the last time you were single. At the beginning, it can take some adjusting to. While things aren’t going to be the same as they used to be, it’s quite possible that you will like the dating playing field better. Maintaining an open mind is crucial to getting the most out of your online dating experience. Don’t dwell on the past, instead focus on the future with an open mind and heart.

Put effort into your profile. Your online dating profile is the first impression you can make on a potential date, so spend some time perfecting it! Answer the questions honestly and thoughtfully, and inject parts of your personality whenever possible. The goal is to show the world who you are and what you’re about through your profile. When it comes to choosing the right profile photo, select images that honestly reflect what you look like right now. Of course, we’d all love to put up photos from when we were twenty years younger or lighter, but ultimately that will do you more harm than good.  Since you want to go out on real life dates with the people you meet online, it’s best to be honest about your physical appearance from the start.

Speak up. Now that you’ve selected the best site for you and created the perfect profile, some mature daters think all they need to do is sit back, relax and wait for the flood of emails from interested singles to come in. Sure, you could do this…but you might be waiting for a while! With online dating, you sit in the drivers seat. If you come across someone’s profile who looks interesting and attractive, there should be nothing stopping you from sending them a message. Women sometimes feel that they need to wait for a man to make the first move, but with online dating there is no waiting necessary. Most men would be thrilled that a woman took the initiative to say hello. Be an active participant on your online dating site. Reply to messages, send winks or be available to instant message with other members.

Online dating is a rewarding journey. Every single day is exciting simply because you never know who you are going to see when you log on. Above all else, remember one important thing. The more you put into your mature online dating experience, the better your results will be!

Thanks to Mature Dating Talk for the article.

The Do's And Don'ts Of Dating After 50

New York City (CNN) -- I never thought I'd be here, but here I am. And let me tell you -- dating at midlife just ain't what it's cracked up to be.

What's that, you say? Internet dating is all the rage! There's no stigma anymore. It makes perfect sense. With our hypercharged careers, family responsibilities, keeping up with the news and working out -- who has the time to meet people anymore? Forget singles bars. What woman in her 50s really enjoys meeting strange men at bars? Oh, wait. Most Internet "first dates" begin at bars. With strange men. Still, the draw is strong. Everybody seems to know somebody who's met her significant other online.

"Marie met the love of her life," said a friend. "She was smart enough to increase her radius of possibilities to 150 miles. And then she found Ben -- only three hours away." Only three hours? What nobody really seems to tell you is that for every online dating success story, there are hundreds of failures: misleading (or outright fraudulent) profiles, years-old photos (at 50, that makes a real difference), awkward conversations, sexual miscues, and clearly incompatible goals.

Ronni Berke

My situation is fairly typical. After juggling two children and a demanding job, my first marriage ended in divorce. I had given it some hard thinking, but my relationship with my husband, which began when we were both in college, really couldn't make it for the long haul. So I opted out. About a year later, I encountered a friendly, good-looking neighbor, who had just recently become single. Howard became my second husband and the love of my life. That made it all the more crushing when he died of a brain tumor two years into our marriage. Thus began a long period of mourning, in which I helped usher my two daughters into adulthood, and devoted more attention to my career. But I was awfully lonely. It didn't help that I went straight home from work every night and stayed in on weekends.

My friends would gently nudge me: "Why don't you just go out more, even with friends?" "Have you checked out JDate?" And the always dependable: "Take a class. You'll meet people." But I was stubborn. Oddly, I'm a very social person. Why was I cutting myself off from the world? My reasoning was this: If I don't do anything, don't "get out there," nothing bad will happen. As in no disappointment, no heartbreak. There's one problem with this line of thinking. Yes, if you don't do anything, nothing bad happens. However, nothing good happens, either. Nothing happens.

So, seven years after my husband's death, I took the plunge. I signed up for online dating and even went to a speed dating session at a local bar.

I approached online dating very seriously, enlisting help from close friends for my profile. It needed a dash of wit, a sprinkling of sass and an attractive photo. But not too much wit, and not too much sass. As for the photo: There's no such thing as too attractive. After everything posted, I got a flood of responses from men. Not because I'm an exceptional catch, but because those who've been on the sites for a while tend to pounce on a new candidate. There were men who lived in other states and countries. (I can't afford to see you. And Skype relationships are pretty two-dimensional.) Men who mentioned sexual details in their profiles. (Yes, we get that sex is important, even in middle age. But this is just too much information!) Men who were grammatically challenged. (Either I'm not worth a coherent sentence or you are unable to compose one.)

My first online date was at a nearby bar. I rushed home from work, put on a new outfit, makeup and perfume, and left the house looking and feeling like a million bucks. I walked into the bar where my date was sitting. Instantly, I could tell he wasn't interested. (Not that I was, either. But since then, I always arrive earlier than the man on a first date to check out, rather than be checked out.) The whole thing went downhill from there. My date spent an hour talking about what a long day he'd had, his allergies, and even checking out attractive women who walked by. Next!

The following night, I met a divorce lawyer for a drink. That job description should have been a red flag, but remember, I was trying to put myself "out there." He walked in and said: "You're a babe!" The last time someone called me a babe was, well, never. Yet, I tried to make the best of it, until he made a pass at me in the elevator. Want to seduce a woman? Trap her in a box and lunge at her. Works every time. Thankfully, I escaped unscathed.

After a few more encounters in which men talked nervously and endlessly about themselves, I met a man who seemed intelligent, attractive and interested in me. We dated for a couple of months. It was good for the ego at first, but turned out not to be a lasting relationship. Note to self: Just because a man doesn't talk about himself all the time doesn't mean he's right for you.

In addition to online dating, I've tried the novel approach of meeting men in person -- at a speed dating event. But it's just different for the boomer set. We're not kids anymore. We don't really do the "hang out, hook up" thing very well. Having a five-minute conversation isn't much of a barometer for a relationship.

Here are my "Speed Dating Dos and Don'ts, For Men of a Certain Age"

-- DO dress presentably. Clean it up. No Hawaiian shirts. And go easy on the hair product.

-- DO know how to talk to a woman. Bad line: "If your name weren't Ronni, what name would you want?" Good line: "You're a widow but out dating again? That's good for us men."

-- DON'T leave a woman sitting alone because you're too shy to come over during the break for buffet. For God's sake, it's speed dating. What did you sign up for?

-- DON'T talk about marriage on a five-minute speed date.

-- DO come up with a reason for why you're in your 50s (or 60s) and have never met the right woman. It can be finessed.

-- DON'T accidentally take your date's drink to the next table (and next date) with you. Pay attention to what you're doing.

-- DO know your selling points. If it's not your career -- and it can't always be -- come up with something you're good at.

-- DO act interested in what she's saying. Unless you just don't care.

But I am not giving up. I've told friends to keep on the lookout for suitable partners for me. I also have a couple of first dates next week with men I've met online. And yes -- expect me to get there first.

Thanks to CNN for this article!